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I don’t let him see the rejection I feel. I wasn’t expecting a declaration of love, but I thought he felt the same way.
“What is this then?”
He looks annoyed at my line of questioning. “Friends with benefits but less emphasis on the friends. I told you I don’t want anything more. I don’t have the time for it.”
But you have been doing more.
I’m tempted to remind him of everything he’s done for me, including finding my father, but I decide against it. I’m not going to beg for his love. I was raised to be better than that.
“I got it,” I conclude.
“We both knew what it was,” he repeats.
He is cut off when the tempo picks up again. We move in sync across the dance floor, patiently waiting for the music to slow again so we can continue. When it finally does, he finishes what he was saying.
“I don’t hate you, so that is saying something,” he smiles, not reading this situation for what it is. “But look at the position you are in. You’re pregnant.”
“With a baby that isn’t mine. This will all be over in six months.”
“I work a lot.”
“I’m your PA. I work the same hours as you.”
“But it’s different.”
He doesn’t want to say how he really feels; he doesn’t see me that way. To him, I will always be the stripper who is good for a romp in bed.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Fair enough. It’s not like I would ever date you.”
He can see through my lie. “Sav—“
I cut him off. “Why are you at this thing? You don’t seem the type.”
Talk about anything else before you cry on the dance floor.
“Skye asked me to be her plus one.” His gaze moves over to her. He gives her a panty-dropping smile that is usually reserved for me.
The pinch in my heart brings tears, but I blink them away before he turns back to me.
“She thinks we’ve got something going on,” he says under his breath.
“Why do you think that?”
He stares down at me. “Because you’re the only woman I have ever been seen with in public, and that on a dance floor.” He chuckles. “Not good for my image.”
The song slowly draws to an end, and I pull out of his embrace. “Let me not get in the way of your work. Go and make her happy.”
“Maybe I’ll stop by yours tonight?” He winks and walks away.
My heart is beating fast as I leave the dance floor and walk to the balcony to breathe fresh air.
I hate that I am hurting from his rejection. He was right in saying I knew what this was – I wanted the same thing. But how could he not feel even a little more than what we originally agreed on? I shouldn’t be surprised. My mother always told me men are creatures who like to take to satisfy themselves. That is all I am to Huxley. He never once complimentedme, only my appearance and ability to arouse him.
I swallow my feelings, take a deep breath and re-join the party.
The event drags on, and I am bored out of my mind. No matter how many times I scold myself, I peer over at Huxley. Xavier comes over and thanks Francesca for attending and her help over the night.I didn’t even get a thank you from Huxley.Xavier offers to call her a cab, which she politely accepts and bids us goodbye. I overhear him asking to text once she is home.
He is kind. He is sweet. He wantsmore.
