Page 16 of Monster Mishap


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“I do take care of myself. On Earth.” I put my hand on my hip and arch an eyebrow. “Remember the whole falling from the sky incident?”

“How could I forget?” I would think he was being sarcastic, but his eyes and the bond tell another story, simmering with wanton cravings.

My body responds to that idea, my walls clenching, seeking out that same fullness his fingers offered. He takes a step forward and I hold up my hand. As much as I’d love another round, I’m afraid he’s going to offer me orgasm upon orgasm until I forget that I have a life on Earth.

And would that be so bad? There’s not much of a life to go back to aside from Edgar.

“What are you making?” I ask instead of requesting he help me find a way home. I’ll figure out a plan once my belly is full.

The monster side-eyes me. “Autumn Stew.”

I breathe and grin. “It smells wonderful.” Another hungry noise from my belly rumbles through the space between us.

“It’s almost ready.” His hands hang at his sides, fisting around nothing.

“Do you need any help?”

He shakes his head and grabs a book from the shelf, plopping onto the mattress. His gaze slides over me, lingering on where his shirt brushes over my thighs. I can’t tell if he wants me to stay or if he wants me to go. Maybe he’s always surly like Edgar.

“How long have you lived here?” I walk, slowly so as not to aggravate my ankle, and inspect every square inch of the cave while I wait for his reply. Some of the walls are smooth, others are covered in jagged stone. The chamber is warm, but with the fire, I’m not surprised. What does surprise me though is how tidy everything is. The furniture, while sparse and practical, is in good shape. Not too worn. All of the wooden pieces are clearly made by expert craftsmen.

Orcus’ attention is like a heat seeking missile that shoots right through me. “Long enough.”

“An ogre of many words,” I tease, continuing around the bathing pit. It’s big enough to fit two ogres. Another ogre would have no problem fitting Orcus inside of them. Stupid human vagina. My brow furrows. Has another ogre shared the bath with him?

The bond bucks in protest and my stomach churns. Wait, why am I so annoyed at that thought? I hardly know the ogre, but the idea of him with someone else makes my skin crawl. That’s probably mostly the mate bond’s fault. I still don’t like thinking about it.

“You’re jealous,” Orcus grunts like I hit him in the gut.

I look at him. “Yes.” There’s no sense in lying, but I’m not about to tell him why.

Eyebrows pinching together, he stares at me. “Why?”

I think he’s trying to be intimidating. After living with someone like Edgar, it’ll take a lot more than a surly stare to make me break. I turn away and continue on my way. There’s no point in trying to explain my complicated emotions. Everything is so… unusual. Messy, even. I’m still not even sure I believe any of this is real.

I stop in front of the bubbling pot of stew. It really does smell delicious. The fire is crackling low beneath the grate and out of habit, I grab the thick wooden spatula and stir it, smiling to myself. I could get used to this. Cooking barefoot over an open flame. It’s so simple. So un-hectic compared to life on Earth. My cellphone is nowhere in sight and I’m not even mad. Though, I am a little put out that I wasn’t holding my e-reader when the fall happened.

I’ll miss my fictional princes… though Orcus might give them a run for their money when it comes to orgasms. No book has ever done for me what the ogre did. Then again, none of my book boyfriends have magical saliva and inhuman appendages. Maybe I was reading the wrong sort of books…

A big hand brushes down my shoulder and I squeal in surprise, dropping the spatula back into the pot.

“Scared, little flower?”

SEVEN

It isn’t polite to think about dicks at the dinner table

DAISY

It takes a moment for my heart to stop racing. Orcus doesn’t scare me. I mean he’s basically twice my size and could easily kill me, but strangely enough, I’m not afraid. The cyclops attack might’ve made me a little jumpy.

I tip my head back and peer up at him. “Scared of little old you?” I grin. “No, Orcus. You don’t scare me.”

A scowl is all I get in return. Perhaps that was the wrong answer?

“The food is ready.” Reaching over me, he grabs the pot without any hot pads and carries it to the table.

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

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