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“But a vampire took the man you loved.”
“And everyone has to survive, even vampires,” Janos said.
It was such a philosophical statement that Sam bent his head humbly. Tears streaked his cheeks. “Your kindness is something I’m not used to,” he said in an unsteady voice.
Janos sat up. He put his arms around Sam and held him close. “I know,” he said. “But there is someone for everyone in this world. And I am yours if you want me.”
Sam scooped him close. He buried himself in Janos’s warmth and marvelled that anyone would want such an abomination as himself.
A sudden knock at the door startled him. He drew back from Janos, wondering who out of his limited acquaintances it could be. Seeing as he only had one actual friend, the answer was kind of obvious and sure enough, as he walked to the door and opened up, he found Stephen on the other side holding a travelling bag, red-eyed from crying.
“Can I stay?” his friend asked.
Sam sighed. “You shouldn’t argue with him on my account. Any differences are between us. Don’t let it affect your relationship.”
Stephen looked at him agog. “Are you serious? After what he did to you?”
“Yes. I deserved it.”
“No, Sam.”
Sam stepped back and ushered him in. “Come on. I have a guest.”
Stephen paused at the entrance to Sam’s bedroom, unsure when he spied Janos climbing off the bed. “Go in,” Sam said, giving him a gentle push forward. “Stephen, this is Janos. Janos, this is my friend, Stephen.”
Janos held out his hand. Sam could see that he was trying to work out whether Stephen was a vampire, and vice-versa. “For the record,” he said, “you’re both human.”
Janos and Stephen both gave uneasy smiles. “Stephen is Istvan’s partner,” Sam told Janos. “They’ve fallen out.”
Janos nodded. His face drew a little closed at the information after what Sam had told him about Istvan. He must have been wondering about Stephen being the lover of such a vampire. But he had plenty in common with Stephen.
Sam glanced at Stephen. “Janos is my friend. My special friend.” He smiled at Janos.
Stephen smiled too. “Consorting with humans. What would Emil say?”
Sam grinned and dug him in the ribs.
“Who’s Emil?” Janos asked.
“It’s best if you don’t know,” Sam said.
Chapter Thirteen
Istvan returned home just before daybreak to find Stephen gone. Severin and Nikolaus had retired to a hotel in town and Istvan wandered the empty apartment for a while, marvelling at his own feelings. He had been alone for so long before Stephen and yet he had tolerated it, even embraced it as a necessary part of his being. How could a vampire ever truly be with someone? But when he had met Stephen in France during the war, all his inhibitions had fled and he had realised that Stephen was the one he had been searching for, for hundreds of years. The one who could put the bitter ghost of Emil and his controlling form of love to rest and the one who could love Istvan the way he wanted to be loved. Whether he deserved to be loved was another question.
So it was a shock to find himself suddenly alone again. A shock that Stephen had spoken those words to him, about never wanting to be like Istvan, those callous words that suggested he didn’t care about the pain Istvan would feel if Stephen were to die. Istvan had felt no love from him at all when he had spoken that way. Stephen had thought their whole life together these last five years was nothing more than a sham and Istvan didn’t know how to handle that. He had always hoped—vainly he knew—that somehow, Stephen would eventually want to become a vampire, would ask Istvan to make him into one so they could become as one for all eternity. He knew now it could never happen. And why would he have wanted to condemn the man he loved to such an existence anyway? Pure selfishness on his part. Vanity, because he didn’t want to see Stephen grow old and accept that there was no longer any sexual attraction between them. But if he loved Stephen, Istvan should have been able to accept that, but the idea had tormented him for so long. Caring for an old man until his dying day? Istvan didn’t want that. And so there was no alternative, when Stephen had said he wouldn’t be like Istvan for anything in the world. Istvan had to let him go because there was no future for them. He slumped down on the still rumpled bed. They had made love only two nights ago, wild, life-affirming love with Istvan vowing that he would love this man forever, beyond the grave when he was gone.
Now all was gone anyway. Stephen was gone and Istvan, somehow, had to accept that. Loving a human was always going to end in tears.
???
The sun was up and Sam had retired to the bedroom, leaving Stephen and Janos in the living room facing each other, both eyeing the other with mistrust. Stephen didn’t really want to be left with Sam’s human lover, because, while it was nice to speak to another human being, this man couldn’t understand the long painful history between Stephen and the other vampires over the last five years. Janos had made a pot of tea and poured them both a cup. He sat with his cup and saucer in hand watching Stephen silently. Stephen saw the purple wounds on his throat and sighed inwardly. Sam was not practicing discretion. How long would this man live if Sam constantly snacked on him? Not very long at all. It had been a long while since Istvan had drunk from Stephen, even though sometimes Stephen secretly craved it. That closeness of Istvan’s teeth in his throat while he penetrated him, the two of them rocking together as Istvan drank. Stephen coming to climax with Istvan inside him. He became aroused just thinking about it. He wanted to go back home and ask Istvan to fuck him while drinking from him. Then he remembered he had called Istvan a monster and they were at the end and his heart broke all over again.
“So what’s your story?” Stephen asked finally, just to break the silence.
“My story?” Janos asked. “My story is that Sam rescued me from the menu of two vampires two nights ago. He and I had already met previously when he’d taken a little drink from me. I confess I feel rather an attachment to him. Are you and he lovers?”
The question was blunt and Stephen could tell Janos regarded him as a rival. “We were,” he answered truthfully, “in the past. We haven’t been recently. Does that bother you?”
