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I laughed. “How could I forget? I had to float in the freezing cold water until you could get a towel for me. And even than I had to come partially out of the water completely naked.” I had been mortified. Bridger had been teaching me how to surf for the first time and it had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, so I didn’t have a wetsuit. I was adamant to never make that mistake again. On our way home, we had stopped and bought me one. It was also the first time Bridger, or any boy for that matter, had seen me in all my glory.
“I remember thinking how incredibly stunning you were. Still are.”
I playfully nudged him. “You weren’t supposed to look! You’ve been lying to me this whole time.”
“I figured what better time to come clean, if not now.”
It always came back to that. To the end. The pain took hold in my chest, squeezing so tightly I couldn’t breathe and bringing tears to the surface once again.
Bridger glanced over. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring down the moment.” He squeezed me closer.
The weakness in his embrace broke me further. Before he got sick, I could feel the muscle behind his hugs. Now there was only skin and bones.
“Please, stop apologizing.” I choked back the lump in my throat. “This is not your fault.”
He sighed. “Char, I need you to promise me something, and I know it’s going to sound cliché, but I need you to be okay. After I’m gone, after you grieve, I need you to move on. You can’t give up living for yourself.” He took my hands into his and locked eyes with me. The emerald color almost seemed to have faded with him. What was once bright and captivating had become dull and lifeless. “You can’t join me until you’re old and gray,” he said with stubborn resolve.
The sounds of my cries drowned out the crashing waves. I shook my head defiantly. “How am I supposed to do that? You’re my whole world. You have always been. Bridger, it’s only ever been you.”
Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but we had always been fated for forever. I just never imagined forever would be so short.
He twisted slightly and wrapped his arms around my neck, placing his forehead on mine.
“I know what I’m asking is a lot—”
“Impossible,” I whispered.
Bridger continued, “I can’t leave until you promise me.”
I understood what he was saying. He would stay here and suffer for as long as it took until I promised.
For me.
His disease had taken a turn for the worse over the last several weeks. We knew he didn’t have much longer, and the suffering was becoming unbearable for him.
I didn’t answer him. I just snuggled into him closer and treasured the sound of his beating heart. I wanted to remember us just like this. In our favorite place, together.
The clouds moved on and the sun disappeared, leaving us with a brilliant display of infinite twinkling stars. There were millions scattered across the sky, kissing the water at the edge of the horizon, uniting as unlikely partners and sharing the night with one another just as Bridger and I did for the last time.
“More coffee?”
I startled out of my daze, wiping away a tear before responding. “I think I’ve had enough,” I joked, trying to conceal my pain.
“You alright, hon?”
I nodded with a small smile. Beverly was always so sweet with me. I had been coming here every morning for months now, but we didn’t say much past my breakfast order and coffee refills.
I paid my tab at the register and slid outside, the sun blinding me momentarily. As my vision cleared, I saw a young man leaning on the wall of the Beach Break Café, cup of coffee in hand, staring at me. Instantly, tingles of anxiety dispersed throughout my body and my heart started to beat faster. I ducked my head and walked quickly past him to the path back to the campground.
“What’s your story?” he asked before I made it a few steps past him.
I froze. His voice was smooth and gentle with an edge of genuine curiosity.
What’s your story, I repeated in my head. Those three words, when separated, had minimal effect, but strung together like a tragic melody were so damn profound. How could I possibly answer that? Did I start from the beginning when I was born? Or later when my life took a turn for the worse?
No, that one would scare him away.
Maybe stay positive and highlight all the best parts of my life, but even my fondest memories would inevitably lead back to the unfortunate path which brought me here to this very moment. Probably best not to dive so deep during a casual introduction.
