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It’s later than I thought, so I need to hurry. At the foot of the bed, I find my jeans and flip-flops. I slide them on but carry my shoes, afraid of making any noise.
I tiptoe downstairs and scurry out of the house while keeping my eyes fixed forward. If I don’t see anyone or make eye contact with anyone, it’s like I was never here, right?
Ha. Walk of shame be damned.
When the cool morning air hits my face, I feel less nauseous. But it quickly returns, the walk home longer than I expected. Last night, Everleigh got us an Uber, and I guess I didn’t notice how far away the party was. Fifteen painful, sweaty minutes later, and I’m finally climbing the stairs to my apartment, dreaming of a hot shower and my bed.
No one’s home, which makes things easier; less explaining to do while my head beats louder than a drum, the sound of my voice echoing through my eardrums and slicing like a knife.
After plugging in my phone, I check my schedule sitting on my desk. Of course, my first class was at nine. I knew this, I looked at this schedule a thousand times. How could I forget?
No, I didn't forget.
I ignored it. Ignored the time slipping by, the start of an early class schedule nonexistent in my mind. If I didn’t think about it, it wasn’t really happening, right?
Next class at noon and work at two. All right, not too bad. No time to nap, but I got this.
A shower, some coffee, and some ibuprofen and I’ll be functional. I think. But as I drag my ass to the computer lab after suffering through my boring history class, I still feel like death.
Even after leaving my class on time, I still manage to arrive at the computer lab five minutes late, but no one notices. It’s pretty much expected of me at this point. After setting up my usual area, I do my normal routine of a walk around the computer lab, saying hi and offering assistance. I also check the shift schedule for the night, but I don’t recognize all of the names, a few of them different from last semester.
Plopping in front of my own computer, I log into my email account and start looking over course work and schedules for the upcoming semester. I gotta put in a little more effort or soon this whole liberal arts degree will be a big waste of time, too. And then where will I be? I already gave up the one major of my dreams. I can’t lose another. My parents won’t take lightly to the news either. They barely understood the first time, though they claimed they did. So as much as it sucks, I need to try not to flunk out of my classes. Or else my life won’t be going anywhere, considering they’re my only support.
The afternoon drags on slowly. I catch myself nodding off several times, and I have to pinch my arm to keep me awake. Nice look on the first day back. It’s hard fighting the exhaustion, my body zapped of any and all energy. On top of that, my stomach rumbles. I munch on the granola bars and yogurt I brought with me. It’s not enough, but I know I need to go easy or I’ll be puking again.
Half asleep while deleting emails, my head snaps up at the sound of a familiar voice. Sometimes my friends come through here but not much anymore since we all live off campus and have our own computers. Can’t beat the free printing the lab offers though. I scan the lab and my eyes land on the source. Holden. And he’s speaking with the night shift supervisor.
Angling myself so I’m out of view, I watch as they talk back and forth, and then he’s following her, and they’re walking this way.
I sit upright and pretend I’m busy on the computer, tapping away on the keyboard, a random email on the screen. But it doesn’t take long before he sees me. His step falters, but he recovers quickly and offers his usual friendly smile. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and smile back.
All right, so we’re cool? He left me alone in his bed wondering what happened, and I left him at the bottom of the stairs, watching me go hook up with a rando. We’re even.
I’m sure as shit not about to talk about all this crap, though.
“Lennox, this is Holden.” Jaime says. “He’s going to start working here.”
He’s going to start working here? What?
My mind runs on overdrive with scenarios…us spending time together…
But I push it all away and stand. “Hey, hey. Holden and I go way back, don’t we?” I grin as Jaime looks back and forth between the two of us, a curious look on her face.
“Yep, we sure do. Friends till the end. Though I secretly think Lennox wants more.” Holden says the last sentence with a hand covering his mouth like I won’t hear. He thinks he’s so hilarious. His comment catches me off guard, and my cheeks heat.
“Actually, it’s more like the other way around.”
“Okay, you two. We’re here to work, let’s remember that. But I’m glad you two know each other. Makes things easier,” Jaime says. “C’mon, Holden, we’ve got paperwork to do, then I’ll have Lennox show you how things work around here.”
Holden winks at me before they disappear into the office, and I ignore the way it makes me feel. We’re always tiptoeing around each other with flirty jokes and stolen glances, more meaning behind them than we care to admit, but now working together? Hmm. I’ll need to work harder to keep Holden at a safe distance. The last thing he wants is a girl like me, and I’m not about to commit to one guy. Not my style, not my thing, ain’t fucking happening.
Slow down, Len. You’re getting ahead of yourself.
Maybe you won’t have any shifts together. Tell Jaime you’d prefer not to work with him. Yeah okay, like that isn’t suspicious at all.
But besides all that, I like the friendship we have. Why do anything to jeopardize that?
We’ll remain friends and now add coworkers to the list. Simple enough.
