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He nods his head and we each retreat to our own thoughts once more. As the stars twinkle overhead, I finally stand with a big stretch, yawning wide. I remember to cover my mouth way too late to be polite. Oops.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower and go to bed,” I say to Sunder, waking Bobble up.
He nods his agreement, and the three of us move inside the tiny cabin after Sunder puts the fire out. When I leave the bathroom after my shower, Sunder is already lying on the couch, a single navy blue throw blanket over his chest.
“You mean you’re actually going to let me have the bed?”
The look in his eye is hungry, taking in my oversized t-shirt and panties. The effect of his body against mine is still lingering between my legs, pulsing with desire. Too bad this shower doesn’t have a removable shower head…
“Would you rather take the sofa?”
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. My body wants to fuck his brains out, but a nagging voice in my head reminds me of his purpose. To sleep with me and leave. To get what he wants from our mating bond, then continue looking for the last pieces of himself.
To use me.
Then go.
The reminder is sobering. I drop my eyes to the floor, along with my grin, and make my way wordlessly up the ladder to the loft bed with Bobble in hand.
I can’t seal the mating bond. Not yet, despite how much my body is screaming for it. Besides, I don’t know what this bond will bring to my life, and I need to understand him better before potentially binding myself to him forever.
“You’re really going to bring that cat into bed with you, but not me?”
I can’t tell if he’s joking around or not.
He’s obviously joking. You think he actually likes you?
“Unlike you, he doesn’t have an agenda. He just curls up and sleeps by my head.”
Sunder scoffs under his breath. “Sure he doesn’t.”
A silence hushes over as the sounds of rustling covers and punching pillows subside, as we each find comfortable spots.
“Today was fun,” I say quietly, hoping he’s up for a small chat. “Having Chroma all day was an interesting sensation, even though I didn’t channel it much.”
“Having it taken away is like having a lung ripped out. It’s harder to breathe. To live. Every exertion feels risky.”
I nod along, understanding a little. The world seems… less… without it. I can’t describe the loss I feel when we’re not touching.
As if reading my thoughts, his voice is uncertain when he says, “Having Chroma after so long without it… Well, let me know if you change your mind about the bed. I wouldn’t hate falling asleep with it.”
I don’t reply. Instead, chewing on my bottom lip, over-analyzing the words. He wants to sleep holding magic, not me.
Fat drops of rain plop on the tin roof of the cabin only a couple of feet over the loft bed. The pinging sounds of rain increase slowly until a steady rhythm hums through the room. I sigh, wishing I had the courage to ask him to come cuddle. Wishing I wasn’t scared of what that might mean.
If I get feelings for him, I don’t think I could handle another man walking away from me right now. I try to fortify my heart, remember all the snarky comments and arrogant attitude. Like I owe him sex! But today was so different. And last night when he told me about his family. All I can muster is a low simmer of annoyance and hormones.
I know that Sunder doesn’t want me.
But it’s so hard for me to not want him either.
Chapter Sixteen
Mira
Gasping, I’m in a thicket of trees wearing only a long nightgown like some kind of Laura Ingles, except this one is so thin I can see through it. The forest floor is dotted with glowing mushrooms of different shapes, sizes, and colors.
Well, that’s a bit phallic, I think to myself, examining a particularly bulbous one.
