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The room is so quiet I can hear his hushed plea.
“Please,” he begs. “Don’t kill me.”
Sunder kneels beside him, tapping the flat side of his dagger on the drunk’s forehead. He whispers something I can’t hear, then stands, scanning the room to find me. We lock eyes, and he quickly comes to me in the stairwell. He puts his hand on my back and ushers me upstairs.
Closing the door to my room behind us, he comes to examine me.
“Are you okay?” he asks worriedly. His eyes dart over my body, searching for any evidence that I’ve been hurt.
I nod absently, ignoring the mild ache where I landed on my hip. “Thank you.”
“This is my fault. I shouldn’t have left you at all, much less gone to the stable to see Hamish’s horse. I warned you that humans aren’t liked, and then I left you alone like an idiot,” he chastises himself.
I can tell he’s working himself up, so I reach out and touch his shoulder lightly. He turns to stare into my eyes, his expression searching.
“I’m fine. I doubt I’ll even have a bruise tomorrow. I think we both just need some rest,” I say as Bobble approaches me cautiously, sniffing.
“I’m never leaving you again. I’m sorry. I’ll sleep on the floor, but I’m not leaving your side anymore.”
I smile softly at his insistence. He seems so sincere.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”
The voice of doubt inside me screams, but I silence her.
Sunder and I obviously have a lot of problems. We don’t connect like Bobble and I do.
But somewhere in there, he cares about me.
And for right now, I’m okay with that.
Chapter Thirty
Sunder
I lie awake in Mira’s bed, my mind racing with thoughts that threaten to suffocate me. My soul feels alive again, and for the first time since becoming Sunder, I am whole.
Running into Hamish and Erlich was exactly the reprieve I needed from the near constant worry that is my life now.
But what truly rekindled the fire within me is Mira. Her smile, her friendly banter at tonight’s dinner. It made my heart ache. The silent distance of our forest walk had been torture. After how terribly I treated her, I know I don’t deserve her kindness. Yet, she offers it freely. A warm smile, friendly conversation, and even a few good-natured jokes at my expense. It’s everything I need.
She is everything I need.
My heart stops as the words barrel into my mind.
I finally understand why the Gods named us fated mates. Taking a deep breath, I savor every complex and nuanced note of her sweet scent. She lies contentedly sleeping on my chest, her breaths constant and deep. I smile faintly to myself, enjoying the sound of her soft snores.
I love her.
I replay the morning of our mating in my mind again. She looked so vulnerable and yet so petulant. I remember her lips, her soft skin, the sound of her moans and passion. Storming off was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I’d been stubborn and unsure, and now I’ve ruined what we could have been.
I know she will never forgive me, and she’ll never trust me again. There must be a part of her that hates me, but how can she act as if nothing happened sometimes if she hates me?
With that, my thoughts take me to Malicryn. The look in her eyes when she betrayed my trust. I had loved her completely. I begged the Gods for her to be my mate. Blinded by her position in the High Elf royalty, I didn’t see the rotten heart beneath.
It gives me pause. Could I be misjudging Mira, too?
Admitting to myself, I’m just buzzed enough from the ale and the adrenaline from the night to realize I’m a coward. I am a worthless coward, too scared to be hurt and betrayed again, and that’s why I keep pushing Mira away. I’m tired of being miserable and lonely. I want to love and be loved again.
