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“I bet. What happened tonight?”
“I did not kiss his shirt. I was just messing with all of you.”
Jenny cocked her head, looking disbelieving. “Those aren’t your lips and that wasn’t your lipstick?”
“I fell.”
Jenny stomped her foot. “Are you seriously trying to make me crazy? This is you and Denver! I have to know these things.”
“Jen.” I pulled out my phone and shook it at her. “We’re trying to hash this out right now. Right now! And I don’t know what I feel, and I don’t know what he feels. Yes. Of course he’s going to be into it when I start kissing his neck. But does it mean anything? Because that’s not something I normally do with coworkers.” Oh, dear. I was babbling. And blabbing. Blabbling was now a thing, and Jenny’s eyes were growing wider and wider and so was her smile.
She slowly backed away from my bed. “I’m gonna go find an old episode of Parks and Rec to watch and then sleep on the couch. This is my love gift to you. Hash it out with him. Take all night.”
“Thank you, Jen.”
She stole a blanket from off her bed and left, closing the door behind her. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But now it was just me and my phone, and I’d felt the vibration of at least one new message. I was scared to look, but mostly I was scared of all the big feelings inside of me that maybe had no place to go. Wincing, I turned the phone over, scrolling down to Denver’s latest text message.
Denver: Can I call you?
Chapter 32 – Denver
It had been several minutes, and I was still staring at my last message to Sadie, waiting for it to show as read. There it went. And then more waiting. Not that it surprised me. I’d expected a Sadie retreat. Maybe I even deserved one. Because wasn’t I just this morning trying to convince myself Sadie wasn’t my person? That she couldn’t be?
I’d fought my feelings for her every step of the way, and in true Sadie fashion, she’d blasted her way through anyway. I wanted to see her again. I couldn’t sleep until I knew we were okay. Except, I didn’t even know what okay looked like for us.
I jumped when the phone in my hand rang. Sadie was calling. Sadie was calling! I jumped up from the couch and then sat back down, cleared my throat, and answered like the mature adult man that I was. Aaaand my voice cracked.
“Hey, Sadie. Hey.”
“Hey.” She sounded hesitant. I had a feeling she wasn’t a phone person any more than I was. But this conversation wouldn’t work through text. There was too much room for interpretation. It would be too easy to make jokes and laugh this off, and I didn’t want to laugh this off. I’d just have to deal with being the not-on-my-game live-action version of me—the one that seemed to take over every time Sadie made me nervous.
“I need you to be blunt with me. You told me we weren’t friends. And later we became friends. Then you said you were stupidly attracted to me but didn’t want to date me. Has that changed?”
“Wow, you really went for it. Give me a second.” She sighed and made a quiet argh sound, like a pirate having a thoughtful conundrum. “Okay, here’s me being blunt. I have no idea what I want. No, that’s not true. I know what I want. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” I rested my head back against the couch. “I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting you. Sadie, you’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”
“You know, I get that a lot.” I could hear her smile through the phone.
“I miss you. I know that sounds dumb. And I probably shouldn’t say this, but I miss you when I’m not around you. I don’t think most people could spend as much time as we spend together and not get sick of each other. I’m not sick of you.”
“I’m not sick of you either.”
We were quiet for a beat, and then we both laughed. It was such a relief to hear that I wasn’t completely off. That she felt the same way I did about us.
“Why did you ask about Isaac?” she asked.
“Because I don’t want to share you.”
“Oh, okay.” She laughed nervously. “I have to admit your bluntness is kind of hot. Sorry. That’s weird.”
“It’s not weird. This is not a beat-around-the-bush kind of conversation, so let’s not do that.”
“Agreed. I’ll go next. The other night at the restaurant when I met Isaac, that was me trying to not spend time with you, but when you showed up…” She was quiet for a few seconds. “I felt better. I felt relieved, like I didn’t have to fight the wanting anymore.”
“So, what do we do about it?”
