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I must have been standing here in a trance, and as I go to knock on her door, it flings open in front of me.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the Nat standing in front of me looks determined but not mad at me. Her smile is something I miss seeing, and last night I wasn’t sure I was going to be getting that for a while. It’s one thing I won’t miss, the fighting we seem to be doing, which I’m sure comes from the sexual frustration we both feel when we’re together. She would hate to hear this, but I think I have just the remedy to soothe the savage beast.
Focus, Jordan, this is not the time to be jumping ahead, thinking about that moment when we’ll finally get to fuck. No, I’m wrong, we will be making love, and I can’t wait, but then, yeah, we will be fucking like rabbits. I won’t be able to get enough of her to quench my appetite. I hope she feels the same.
Time to find out.
NATALIE
After not much sleep and a lot of thinking, I’ve decided I just need to go straight to Jordan and tell him exactly what I saw. Honesty is the best policy—well, except for when it comes to my feelings for Jordan. I had my reasons, but I’m not even sure I’ve been completely honest with myself about how deep my love for him goes. Last night it all came rushing out, along with the anger at him for choosing her.
I don’t even waste time getting dressed, he can put up with me in my unicorn pajamas. Smoothing my hair with my hand and pulling it up in a messy bun on the top of my head, I’m up and heading for the door. I’m ready to take on the world—well, Sasha, anyway. If I hesitate then I’ll chicken out, so I march toward the door and pull it open. I almost run smack into his hard naked chest, hand in the air, looking like he was about to knock on my door.
“What is it with you and shirts, don’t you own any?” It’s the first thing that comes out my mouth, making both of us smile, me giggling a little, and in some respects relaxing a little of what tension remained after our fight.
“I do, but they’re overrated. What, are you telling me you don’t like the view?” Instead of the usual angst I feel when he says things like that, it makes me get a little warm and fuzzy this morning. I want to reply how I could stare at that view all day, but I can’t start the morning off flirting with him. That wouldn’t be good. I need to be serious and strong to deliver this news.
Instead, I try to stay on even keel with my words.
“To what do I owe this pleasure this morning? I hope you’re the breakfast room service.”
“No food, but yes, you get me for breakfast. Well, my presence anyway.” The stupid smirk on his face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing. Then it changes a little and a more serious expression takes over. “We need to talk, Nat. Can I come in?”
Normally I would be panicking at him being anywhere inside this room, but it will be perfect for me to say what I need to. Private and not having to deal with the lies that Sasha is going to try to make up to cover her tracks. I just hope he believes me.
“Yes, of course, because to be honest, I need to talk to you, and I would prefer to do it here.”
“Just talk?” he says as he walks past me and sits down on my bed—well, technically it’s his, he does own this place.
“You are hopeless, you know that?” I laugh, and it feels good to break the tension that is starting to build.
“What, it was worth a shot.” He pushes me lightly in the shoulder as I sit down beside him. I was probably safer to be standing at a distance, but I don’t want to be above him as I deliver this blow. I want to be face to face, so I can deal with his heartbreak. I know he loves me, but in his own way, he loves her too.
“Nat.” He takes my hand and I have no idea what he is about to say but I know I need to say this first.
“Jordan, me first,” I interrupt, not giving him time to disagree with me. “Please know I’m not doing this to hurt you, but you need to know.” I can see his face tense up a little. Not stopping for breath, I charge forward, the words spilling out.
“Sasha is having an affair with Dani, they’re lovers, and I saw them having sex on your couch last night. Well, not all of it, I mean, I left because that is just wrong to watch, and I didn’t mean to see any of it, but it just happened. And I froze from shock and hurt for you at what I was seeing. I know this is going to shock you just as much, but that bitch has betrayed your trust and I just want to claw her eyes out for what she’s doing to you. I mean, if I was married to you then I would never do something like that. I would love you harder than is humanly possible. She has that chance, and I don’t, and look what she’s done. Like, they were naked and everything and it was just so much, and I don’t care that they’re both women, that’s not my outrage, I’m just so upset for you…”
Almost running out of air, I trail off with my words, trying to get my breath back. I can’t believe what I’m seeing in Jordan’s face. No amount of shock, but instead, his smile is stretching across his whole face and his eyes are full of sparkles.
“Breathe, beautiful, it’s okay.” His voice is calm and full of tenderness.
“No! It’s not! Why aren’t you upset, angry or anything in between?” Then a horrible thought comes into my head. No, that’s not him, surely, although do I really know him anymore? “Jordan… you aren’t, like the three of you, you know, in a relationship.” I can feel the embarrassment on my cheeks. I don’t judge anyone, but it’s just not for me, not in the slightest. While I’m dying here and wanting to crawl into a hole, he starts laughing hard. Surely, he wouldn’t be awful enough to make fun of me about such a sensitive thing. He knows how traditional I am, never really taking much of a walk on the wild side.
He won’t stop laughing and that makes me mad. “Jordan!” I try to pull my hand out of his. “How can you be making fun of me right now? I thought I knew you better than that.”
He cuts his laughing off as soon as I yell those words at him. “No, Nat, it’s not like that at all. I would never make fun of you with something so serious. It’s just such a relief that this is all coming to a head, and everything is out there. Not quite how I wanted it to happen but let’s straighten some things up right now.”
“You knew?” I whisper. My disappointment sinks into my stomach, that he is putting up with this, it must really hurt.
“Let’s get a few things straight and then I promise to tell you the whole story, from start to finish, but you have to be patient and listen, Nat. No interrupting or judging until the end. Okay?”
I don’t know what to think and my head is spinning, but I need to hear this. “Okay,” I hesitantly answer.
“Promise?” Jordan squeezes my hands tight.
“I promise, alright, can you get on with it before my head and my heart explode here?”
