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Being a doctor in this kind of town meant being willing to be a jack of all trades sometimes, and while that had changed some in more recent years as the hospital grew and more specialists established offices closer to town, there were always going to be instances of emergencies and unexpected moments when he needed to use all his skill and compassion to help people through.
Right now, it was me. But I also knew he needed the support as well. He'd bonded tightly to Cassie the second he saw her, and it was difficult for him to watch the nurses wheel her away. I could see in his face that he felt helpless and hated that he couldn't be right there with her and take care of her. We needed each other in those first hours, and I felt myself falling even more in love with him.
The few days Cassie had to spend in the special care nursery were harder than I ever could have imagined they would be. I was so thankful for the special room the hospital had near the unit so that we could stay while they were caring for Cassie rather than having to go all the way home. I knew even if they didn't have that space, I wouldn't have left. I would rather have spread a blanket out on the floor of the hallway and camped out. There was no way I was going to leave my baby.
Finally on the fourth day after she was born, the doctor called Mark and me to the nursery first thing in the morning.
I braced myself for finding out our little girl was going to need a longer time in the hospital than we thought, or that maybe they'd found a health problem or issue that would affect her more than we imagined. It didn't matter what they told me. She was everything to me, and I would love her and do anything for her no matter what she needed.
I'd prepared myself so much to hear challenging news when I walked into the nursery, I was almost shocked to see the smile on the nurses' faces and the happy, easy way the doctor was cradling our daughter in his arms. He grinned down at her, talking softly and laughing when she made a face at him.
"Good morning," I said to let them know we were there.
They all looked up, and one of the nurses clapped her hands together happily.
"Hi, Mom and Dad," Dr. Reinard said. "Cassandra here tells me she's ready for you to pack her bags. She's really excited to see her brand-new nursery at home."
"At home?" I asked, not sure I just heard what I thought I did. "She can go home?"
He nodded. "Absolutely. She's done so well and gained the weight I wanted to see. She's breathing well and eating perfectly. It's still a few weeks before her official due date, but I'm not worried about her. She is just excited to get going. If you're ready to bring her home, she's ready to go with you."
Mark wrapped an arm around me and squeezed happily.
"We're ready," he said. "We've been ready."
"The nursery," I said, looking up at him. "We haven't finished her nursery."
He laughed. "She doesn't need much. I don't think she's going to mind that the mural isn't finished yet or that we haven't set up the wipe warmer."
"Pro tip," one of the nurses said, leaning toward us with a conspiratorial look on her face. "You'll use the wipe warmer about four times and then realize it's more of a hassle than it's worth. Just hold one of the wipes in your hand for a couple of seconds, and it warms up just fine."
I smiled. "We can really bring her home?"
They all grinned wider around me and nodded. Dr. Reinard stepped up to me and nestled the baby into my arms. I couldn't believe it. Happiness like I'd never experienced rushed into me, followed by a sense of excitement and anticipation. We were a family, and our whole life was stretched out in front of us. I couldn't wait to get her home and to see what was ahead for us.
I wondered if it would hurt the feelings of the important people in our life if we didn't have them waiting at the house to welcome us home and meet the baby. They hadn’t been able to come to the hospital to see her, and I knew they would be expecting to see her as soon as possible. But there was a feeling deep inside me that Mark and I needed to nest with her, just the three of us, for a little while.
When I told Mark how I was feeling, he told me he was feeling the same way. We'd been through so much already, and I wanted to enjoy the peace of being home together. Once we were settled in, I looked forward to having everyone we loved over to meet Cassandra and welcome her into our growing chosen family. But for now, it was just going to be us.
