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“Don’t apologize.” My tone is harsh, but I don’t want her bearing any guilt for this. “This was an accident.”
She nods, head bobbing quickly. “I know. Sorry. I’m just… I don’t know what in the hell to do. I’m not ready to have a baby. I’m not ready to be a mom.”
I sigh and bend to press my lips to her forehead. “I’m with you. It’s not something I wanted either. Not for a long time, at least.”
Kiera’s voice sounds slightly hysterical. “So we should definitely… um… we should get… since neither of us is ready for a kid, the best thing we could do is…” She wrenches out of my arms and scrubs her hands over her face, letting out a sob. She looks at me helplessly. “I can’t even say the words, Bain. I can’t even make myself say the option we need to consider.”
Her anxiety causes mine to flare again, and my heart pounds. I keep my tone gentle. “We have to consider it, though.”
Kiera’s eyes are wild and she looks as if I just slapped her, but she nods in agreement. I’ve never seen a human being more torn in two before and my heart breaks for her.
“What do you want to do?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Kiera… it doesn’t matter what I want to do. This is your body involved, not mine. If you want to end the pregnancy, I’ll hold your hand. If you want to keep the baby, I’ll support your decision.”
A harsh, barking laugh erupts from her chest. “Of course you’d say that because you’re a good guy. I know you’ll do the right thing, but I want to know whatyouwant.”
I rub at the back of my neck, now aching with tension. “I don’t know. Do I want kids one day? Sure. Am I ready to be a parent now? Fuck no. No way am I ready. But I’m also a capable person. I can do it. Having a baby is going to change everything about our lives. Nothing will be the same again and trust me when I say I’m as scared as you. But it’s your choice.”
“So if I say I want to end it, but you want to keep it, you’ll support my choice?”
“If that’s what you want.” My eyes lock onto hers, an unwavering, silent promise to have her back.
Tears well in her eyes and spill over like waterfalls. Her expression pleads with me to understand. “It’s not what I want. I can’t terminate. I’m not ready to be a mom, but I guess I’ll learn how.”
Near-crippling fear weakens my legs, but I force myself to give a supportive smile. I brush her tears away with my fingers. “You already know how. You’re a second mom to Jake, Colby and Tanner. You’re a natural.”
She laughs, nodding her head. “Yeah… I can take care of kids. But my plans… my dreams to go back to school. I’ll have to give it up. I can’t do both, but I can’t give up the baby. That I know for sure.”
I pull her into me, understanding that the best way I can show support is with physical affection. Her arms go around my back and she rests her cheek on my chest. I want to tell her she can have it all… school and motherhood, but I don’t know any such thing. I only know that everything has changed and we’re immediately in over our heads.
“I don’t need anything from you,” Kiera says. “I can do this on my own. This isn’t anything you ever bargained for.”
I see what she’s doing and I adore her for it. She’s giving me an exit. The door is open and I can walk out and she won’t even hold it against me. Kiera is aware I’ll support her, but she doesn’t expect it.
“I’m not going anywhere. That’s half of me in your belly, so it’s half my responsibility.” And if I’m honest… I’ve already got a connection to it. The idea of Kiera terminating was nauseating at best, despite the fact I’m scared as fuck that we’re keeping it.
Her entire body goes lax, I think from relief, and I have to hold up her weight. “What does this mean for us? What we’ve had going on?”
“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “We have a lot to talk about. A lot of micro decisions to make.”
The front door to Kiera’s house opens and both of us jerk apart, turning that way. Drake walks in, palming a set of keys, but he hasn’t seen us standing in the kitchen yet. “Kiera,” he calls out and then his gaze slides over us.
It stops, freezes on me and I can almost read on his face exactly what he’s thinking as he takes in his sister’s red eyes.
“What the fuck did you do to her?” Drake growls as he advances on us.
“He didn’t do anything,” Kiera snaps, stepping in front of me.
“Why are you crying? And why in the hell is he in my house?”
“It’s my house,” Kiera retorts. “Not yours. And why are you walking in without knocking?”
That seems to stump Drake. I’m sure he meant no offense and I’m quite confident he never once considered I’d be here with her. He lived here not that long ago and he probably never once considered she’d need privacy.
I can see Drake putting it all together, though. I’m in Kiera’s home, we were embracing and she’s crying. He knows for sure we’re intimate with each other and his jaw tightens in anger as he points a finger at me. “I told you and all the guys that no one touches my sister. I forbade it.”
Truly, I’m not making light of his concerns, but I can’t help digging at him. “Sorry, man. But last I checked, Kiera’s an adult who can do what she wants.”
