AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He's so familiar, yet we haven’t seen each other for such a long time that I barely know him. Except I can feel him. Like the way you can feel a storm coming, or the first snowfall in winter. My heart used to beat for him; for his smile, his touch, the way he would look at me, like I was the girl who was made just for him. My mind swims in a sea of memories, and the life we could have lived.Until I pushed him away.
Guilt lays heavily in my stomach as I think about the way I handled everything. I was so hurt and lost, grasping for control over anything, so when he was ready to go back to London, I couldn’t handle another loss and I stupidly pushed him. It’s not something I’ve ever forgotten and I’ve regretted it every day for the last ten years.
“Liam…” I pause, looking at him. “I’m so sorry.”
He frowns, “For what?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Everything. For pushing you away. For not recognising what we had. Just… everything.”
Liam squeezes my back where his hand rests, never letting our gaze break. The corners of his mouth lift into a smile. “I appreciate you saying that. I really do. Losing you,” he pauses, lost in thought, “it was rough. I went through a lot of emotions; I hated you, I loved you again, I missed you, but I never, ever forgot you, Jess. The timing wasn’t right for us back then.”
I observe every line that has settled on his face, especially the smile lines that have formed around his eyes. I want to touch them to understand the emotions that put them there. My eyes drop to his lips, starting at the curve of his bottom lip and moving to his perfect cupid’s bow. I used to kiss that cupid's bow because it was my favourite part of his lips. His eyelashes flare across his lids like a peacock's tail, full and dark, yet masculine, framing his eyes.
During my assessment of him, I hadn’t noticed his eyes scan my face as though he is trying to figure out what I’m thinking. Without a single warning, he spins me out, making my dress twirl around me like a fan, whilst the kaleidoscope of the room blurs in my vision. The laugh that erupts from my lips is light and airy, as I spin back towards him and my body nestles perfectly between his arms again, like it belonged there.
As soon as I’m steady on my feet, he dips me backwards, tipping the world upside down. And it makes me realise that this is exactly the theme of the night; everything that was up is now down. I can’t stop another bubble of laughter that spills from my lips when he rights me. Our noses are centimetres apart, our breath mixing as we both lose all our playfulness. His eyes darken and, in a second, it’s replaced with clouds.
“Do you remember much from back then?” he asks, emotion lacing his voice. It catches me off guard. My palms twitch and heat tingles along my spine.
“Of course I remember. You were my best friend, Liam..” When he doesn’t answer, I continue, “Do you think about it?”
“More than you know, Jess.” We stare at each other longingly, the tornado of desire and longing, heartache, first kisses and last goodbyes swirling between us. When his eyes dart to my lips, I forget everything, my mind overwhelmed by his proximity.We shouldn’t be this close, we shouldn’t kiss, but just for a moment, I wish we could.
Suspended in time, trapped in this globe of past and present colliding together, it feels like we’re the only ones in the room. It’s not until something catches his attention and he looks beyond my shoulder. His brows furrow as he stares, and I can practically hear his brain contemplating something. His body stiffens the moment he makes the decision, and his hands loosen his hold on me.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I turn my head and see Alex looking on, her face unreadable.
“I’m sorry, Jess. I have to go.”
“Oh yeah, of course.” I drop my arms quickly and try my hardest to ignore the sheer level of disappointment brazenly thrashing through my veins.
He walks away from me then before calling back.
“Scotty?”
“Yeah?”
“You really do look beautiful.”
17
Jessica
Iwakeupina fluster. My heart pounds, my breath is sharp and sweat sticks to my skin. I force myself to look around the hotel room, remembering where I am.
I’m in The Clover hotel.
With Nora.
I’m safe.
I take several deep breaths, calming my racing pulse as Nora stirs next to me.
“Morning. You were moving around a lot last night. You sleep badly?”
