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I’ve been relocated. I was stateside for months and months. Close enough to you to make the distance pure torture. Now, I’m so far away.
I miss you. It's this gnawing ache that never seems to ease up. I hope you’re doing well. I hope school is fun. I can understand why you don’t write me back. I deserve it. Punish me, baby. It’s okay, I can take it. I can love us enough to see it through.
McCall sent me pictures when he went to visit you at school. You’re so breathtakingly beautiful. Your hair has that summer shine I love so much. I hate I missed swimming in the tank and eating ice cream behind the Dairy Queen.
I hate I missed those cutoff shorts too. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those things drive me crazy every damn summer.
Your apartment looks nice. Don’t forget to lock the doors and windows, okay? Carry your mace and stay off your phone while you’re walking around campus.
We grew up in a small town, but the world is a big scary place. The thought of something happening to you keeps me up at night. Hell, I think about you all the time either way.
My friends here, my brothers, they make fun of me. They call me lovesick and they give me hell for it. I don’t mind. I am lovesick, and I don’t care who knows it.
You can ignore me for a year and it won’t change the way I feel about you, baby. You’re my girl.
All my love,
Booker
Macie + Booker
Macie:You thought I was getting those letters, and I was pissed and ignoring you?
Booker:At first, yeah, I did.
Macie:But you kept writing to me. Why?
Booker:I told you, punish me. I didn’t mind. I knew you were angry, and I knew you had every right to be. What we had, Macie, what we shared, it was still real to me. I knew you’d come around, once I could get to you. Once I could hold you and give you the life you deserved.
Macie:When did you realize I wasn’t getting them?
Booker:Around the third letter I suppose. McCall asked me why I still hadn’t let you know what was going on. He was so pissed at me. I told him I’d written to you as soon I could, that I’d explained everything. He said there was no way you’d gotten those letters, not with how upset you still were.
Macie:Why didn’t he tell me then?
Booker:I told him not to.
Macie:Why? Why did y’all want me to suffer? Damn it, Booker. Why didn’t I get those letters?
Booker:Baby, we didn’t want you to suffer. Ever. We both hated how much you were hurting. I felt so hopeless, so out of control. I literally couldn’t get to you. It was torture.
Macie:So why not tell me? It could have ended right then. All the confusion, all the heartache. It’s like you were hurting me on purpose. Why? My parents? Was it them?
Booker:The why is at the end. Remember? I promise it’ll make sense soon. But I need you to bear with me.
Macie:Still lying.
Booker:Still protecting you.
Macie:I don’t need your protection. I need your truths.
Booker:And you’ll get them.
Macie:I must be a glutton for punishment. I must be fucking insane.
Booker:Does that mean you’re still with me?
Macie:Get on with it then. What’s today’s back then memory?
