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“You’re such a dickhead. But yeah, she’s going to be okay.” Nora sits at the island, distracted as she sips her coffee. “Listen, I need you to not say anything to Jess or Liam about this.” She points between us, obviously talking about last night. “He’s your best friend, but he’s also your boss. Jess is my sister… they’ve not long been back together. It’s probably the worst time to tell them about this.”
I turn down the heat on the bacon and face Nora, crossing my arms over my bare chest. Her eyes track my movement and stay glued to the huge Lion tattoo that covers my chest. “Are you embarrassed that you slept with me?” I ask, not sure I want to hear her answer.
“Embarrassed, no. Ashamed, a little,” she says meekly.
My frown deepens as I ponder her words. She’s ashamed. Fuck that feels… I don’t even know, but I’m not going to dissect it before I’ve eaten. I can’t think on an empty stomach. I school my expression and try to distract myself by popping some bread in the toaster as she continues.
“I know you sleep with a lot of women, Grayson, like a lot. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You do you. But if Jess finds out about last night, she’ll marry us off, and that’s just not what this was. They’ll make it a huge deal, and what’s worse is, if we tell them it was just one night, then she’ll probably kill you for sleeping with me. We both knew what we were doing last night and that it would only be a one time thing and that’s fine. It was just meaningless sex.”
“Fucking great, meaningless sex,” I guffaw, turning off the heat to the bacon.
She shrugs as she stands and reaches for her phone charger, plugging her phone in, avoiding making eye contact with me. “I mean… it was okay.” Her lips twitch at the side.
What the fuck. I want to rip that charger from her hand and fuck her against the counter. I have this sudden, desperate need to remind her just how ‘okay’ she thought it was last night. If she really thinks it was mediocre, then I have something to prove, deciding there and then that this will absolutely not be a one-night thing because last night was sure as fuck, better than okay.
The toaster pops and I’m distracted for a second and when I look up again, she’s disappeared, and I hear the shower turn on upstairs.
Fucking okay sex, my arse.
Oh, it’s game on.
Chapter 1
Nora – Three months later
It’s7:15amandLondonhas been awake for a while, with commuters racing to get to work, but our street always seems peaceful. The frosted trees sparkle like the Christmas lights everyone took down last month, and the wide pavements look like ice skating rinks.
January has been in full swing for almost three weeks now, and my life has remained the same. I go to work and I come home. Lather, rinse, and repeat.
My sister, Jess, got engaged on New Year’s Eve and I’m so happy for her, but if I’m being honest, something snapped in my brain after it happened; I realised that I’ll never get anything different from my life if I keep doing the same things.
I’ve always been the good girl, the reliable one, the one who didn’t drink too much, who made the right choices (well most of the time), the one who coloured inside the lines, but that life, I am quickly realising, is incredibly boring. The only thing it’s left me with is a re-virginised vagina, no good stories to tell, and no one throwing rocks at my window in the middle of the night to sneak in and ravish me, because isn’t that the foundation of every love story? Spectacular declarations that sweep me off my feet? It’s never happened, so I wouldn’t know. But from what I’ve seen in my parents’ perfect marriage and Jess and Liam finally finding something special together, I feel… left out somehow and I hate that I feel like that.
I’ve spent my whole life playing it safe. The lack of risk taking and the absence of fun is frankly, depressing. For Christ’s sake, Jess and Liam got engaged within four months of finding each other again, but it took me almost four months to decide which sofa was best for my patients. I’m not impulsive in any way. The most unpredictable thing I’ve done recently is sleep with Grayson, which was a huge mistake for many reasons, and one I will not repeat. Because there are risks and then there are really bad ideas. Despite the fact that all I do is dream about the soft touches he peppered over my skin, the way he made my head spin with ecstasy and my body thrum with desire for him. But it’s not going to happen. He doesn’t want forever; he wants right now and we’ve already done that. Case closed.
All I want is to be the ooo to someone’s aahh, the hum of appreciation when someone lays eyes on you–I’d fooled myself into thinking it could be Grayson but we’ve hardly spoken since that one night, which is entirely my fault. I may or may not be avoiding him because I can’t trust my body around him. I deserve to be someone’s everything. Which is why I decided at stupid o’clock this morning that I am damn well going to change things.
Which also brings me back to the notepad I’ve been trying to write in since the dawn of time. The no-pressure-bucket-list that I’ve somehow managed to give myself writer's block over. The list that I promised or convinced myself would push me out of my comfort zone is currently… blank.
‘Knock knock.’
“Come in,” I croak and clear my throat of the early morning start and lack of coffee lacing my voice.
Jess’ petite frame comes into view. She’s dressed for work in her dark silk blouse and cream chino trousers. “Morning babe, can I borrow your gold hoops today? I can’t find mine,” she asks, walking over to me with a steaming mug of coffee.
I gratefully take it, letting the sweet earthy smell invade my senses, and nod towards the jewellery box on my white chest of drawers. “They’re in there.”
“Do you have a day off today?” She eyes me in the reflection of the large mirror as she places the hoops in her ears.
“Just a half day.” I sip my coffee, appreciating the way the warmth trickles down my throat, heating my stomach.
“That’s nice. You’ve been working so much lately, I feel like I’ve barely seen you.”
I sit up straighter on my reading chair. “I have to work hard to keep a solid client base, and even though I’ve been doing it for five years, it still takes so much effort. Especially in a city where there’s a therapist on every corner. Getting people to trust you and share intimate details of their lives takes time, so I’m focusing on that right now.” I don’t mean to sound grumpy and I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince–me or Jess. I love my job, but I know I’ve been using it to escape too.
“I know, sweetie, and I’m so proud of you. I just don’t want you to be lonely. When was the last time you had a date? Was it that guy last summer?”
I cringe at the memories of that fling, that never really flung, with Freddie. He was so dull and boring that he mademelook like a daredevil and my ideal night involves a crossword puzzle and a cuppa. He only ever had missionary sex with the lights on, I shudder at the memory of how dull it was. Okay, the first thing I need to add to my list ishave hotter sex.
