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I woke briefly when she came in with red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Both Essos and I had been carried to our room after I slipped into my own unconsciousness. Cat’s form curled around mine, spooning me so I could feel safe as I lay on my side, facing Essos.
We still don’t know if my gamble worked. I’m grateful that he doesn’t seem to be in pain and I know that I have done everything I can. My fingers travel along his jaw before I let them settle over his heart, my heart. If I could will him to live, I would, but I have to play the waiting game and let the magic work.
When I can’t bear it any longer, I turn to jostle Cat so I can get out of bed.
“Need help?” a male whisper asks from across the room. Xavier is sitting slouched in the same chair Cat did when she dished on what has been going on with them. He looks like he’s aged ten years since I last saw him.
“If you can think of a way I can do this without waking her, then yes,” I whisper back.
“I’m awake,” Cat mumbles in the way of a person who may be awake, but very much does not want to be. Xavier’s indulgent smile is soft as he gazes at her. His steps are easy as he makes his way to my side of the bed. It’s awkward as he tries to lift me, and I accidentally kick Cat in the stomach doing it.
“Sorry!”
“It would have been easier for me to just get up,” she says this, of course, once my feet are firmly on the ground and Xavier gets a face full of my tits.
“I rescind my apology. You could have said that instead of waiting until the pregnant woman’s bladder was on the verge of exploding.”
“You could haveasked.”
I ignore her point and go to the bathroom. After, I take my time surveying my injuries. Anything more than a bruise has been healed, but there was nothing to be done for the cut my chest and cheek. It’s unclear who, but someone changed me into clean leggings and an old shirt that doesn’t fit at all, but it was–itis–Essos’s shirt, and it’s giving me some emotional armor. My belly protrudes from where the shirt has ridden up. I marvel at the feel of Pom, what I think might be a leg or a fist nudging against my side, a silent reminder that she’s still here.
The shower feels wonderful on my weary limbs. Focusing on the hot water means I can try to block out the memories of the day before. It also means that I can cry in peace without worrying about how it looks. No one that is with us would begrudge me my tears, but absent a King of the Dead, I need to be able to rule in his place. If the blood of the Titan’s didn’t work…
No.
I can’t let myself go there. Essos will be here when Pom is born. He will wake up. His vibrant blue eyes will be full of love and life again. There is no way fate is cruel enough for this to be our end.
Once I’m cried out for the time being, I burrow into Essos’s side of closet until I find an oversized T-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. When I emerge, Cat is sitting on the couch beside Xavier. I want to tease them about how close they’re sitting, but I can’t, not while Essos is lying on the bed, eyes closed.
My feet carry me the short distance from the door to my bed, but it might as well be five hundred miles. Neither of them say anything as I resettle myself under the covers sitting up, so I can smooth the dark hair from his face. It’s uncomfortable but I lean down and press a kiss to his brow.
“Come back to me,” I demand. When I sit up, I expect his eyes to open as if my will was enough to wake him.
It’s not.
“We have to talk, Daphne.”
I ignore Xavier in favor of fixing the blanket on Essos’s chest. “So, talk.”
Cat crawls into bed beside me and hugs me. I pat her arm, acknowledging the comfort.
“Do you want to talk outside?” Xavier suggests.
“No, I want to stay here.”
“She can stay,” Cat tells him, her tone warning.
Xavier perches on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb the delicate equilibrium.
“We need to go to Solarem.”
I turn to face him, the frown on my face deepening. “You can go, but I want Callie to stay with me if I need a healer for Essos.” I know what he’s getting at, but I’m not going to play. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else. I want to be here and wait for Essos to wake up.
“We need you to be there to represent the Underworld. For us to get the confidence of the people back, we need to present a united front. Everyone but Callie will be there. We will reintroduce Callie after some time since she’s been missing for so long, but right now the people of Solarem need unity and stability from the royal family.”
I’m glad to hear this impassioned plea from Xavier. It’s the type of leadership the citizens deserve, but I am not here for it, not now.
“Honey,” Cat’s voice is pitched low, trying not to scare the brittle thing I’ve become. “We won’t leave Essos alone, but you need to do this.”
