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As much as he wanted to trust Him, Beth was right. He didn’t. Couldn’t.
It didn’t feel like God’s grace was sufficient—because he wanted that to look like something more comfortable. Safer. Reliable in a worldly way.
He should have heeded Dylan’s warnings and stayed away from Beth.
He kept driving, then pulled his truck into his grandparents’ driveway and found them on the back deck.
“We heard what happened,” Grandma said. She wore a bright purple top with her white linen pants, like she’d just gotten home from lunch.
“I figured.”
“Are you okay?”
He shook off her question.
She gave him a sad smile. “You don’t have to go. We’ve treasured your time here—it’s been a blessing.”
He wasn’t feeling very blessed. “I’ve got horses to pick up and ranch financing to deal with.” No, he hadn’t figured out exactly how he’d fund it all, especially once he put his plan in place for the camp.
He was still hoping he could convince Vincent to go into a partnership or maintain ownership while Grayson took over operations and paid rent on the place.
“That seems kinda fast,” Grandma said.
Grandpa shifted in his seat. “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known that storm was coming in.”
“I’m the head wrangler. It was my job to have a contingency plan and to turn back the group.”
“I mean the day your parents died.”
Grayson’s throat went dry.
“I know you’d asked them to go.” Grandpa leaned forward in his chair. “It was a horrible accident.”
“God could have saved them.” Just like Harper Pennington. “And if I can’t count on God to save them, it’s on me.”
Grandpa shook his head. “It’s hard to understand how God allows terrible things to happen. But you aren’t in control.”
“I know that—”
“I know part of you does.” Grandpa tapped his temple. “But you don’t believe it here.” He put his hand over his heart.
No. He probably didn’t believe it in his heart. Because how could he accept that?
“You’re still blaming yourself. You don’t want to open your heart because you don’t want to lose your illusion of control.”
Noah’s words needled Grayson.Trust God has a plan.
Grayson shook his head. “You know I’ve always needed to go back.”
Grandpa nodded. “Go for the right reasons, though. And don’t be afraid to take a risk. To ask the question. I think if you look at the past month, you’ll see God’s been with you all along. He’s the One youcantrust.”
The memories of Beth tangled in his mind. He’d been a complete jerk because he wouldn’t ask her to do the one thing he’d wanted.
No, he couldn’t ask her. Couldn’t put her in the same position Lyle had. “I can’t make her choose.”
“That’s right—you can no more make her choose than you made your parents go out on the boat that day. But you can ask. And you’ll never know what’s possible if you don’t.”
It was a lose-lose question. If she said no, then he’d be leaving his heart in Deep Haven. If she said yes, he’d be risking his heart to her in Oregon and stealing her from her dad.
