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“Good to know. Wish I could say the same about your buddy Rex,” he adds, and I forget at times they spent the weekend together, too. At least they didn’t have just one bed and were lost in the woods, but I don’t regret my time by myself when I saw Xan as more than an enemy.
“Sorry to hear that, Micah,” I offer. Rex stole his girl, so of course, he’s bitter. “I know I’m biased, but Rex really is a good guy.”
Micah rolls his eyes, and I assume the conversation is over. “If you say so. I’ll take your word for it. But it was a nice thing you did, coming to the funeral. I’m shocked as shit you two were able to let a twenty-year feud go. And right now, Xan can use all the friends he can get.”
He extends his hand, and we shake. He turns without another word as my brother finds me in the hall. “Shit, where did you disappear to?” he asks.
“I’ve been here the whole time, bro,” I lie, and he has to know it, but he doesn’t push. “Let’s go check on Ma. And just so you know, I don’t fit in here either, J.” And I don’t know this world of Xan’s, but I’ll be here for him. That’s a promise I know I’ll keep.
* * *
JJ,Micah, and I are sitting at a table in the dining room. Several people have left, but my ma insists on doing her part. It’s who my mother is.
JJ and Micah don’t have much in common but have known each other since school—JJ graduated two years before us. We’re shooting the shit, and I glimpse an exhausted Xander through an open doorway. Micah must see the same and stands.
“It’s been three hours, and all those Lynol Inc blowhards are buttering Xan up because they assume he’ll take over the company. I’m going to try to rescue him. He looks dead on his feet.”
Micah has more tact and understanding for this side of Xan’s life than I do. I’d instead tell them all to go fuck off, but I don’t, only for Xander’s sake.
“Clark, I’m going to attempt to get Ma to come sit down for a little bit. She has the whole wait staff under her thumb, no surprise there, but she’s exhausted. The last few days have brought up too many memories from losing Dad.”
I know Xan’s agony, but it may be even more painful than my heartache. He may not grieve the loss of his father but weep for the dad Lyle never was to him.
“Good luck,” I offer as JJ stands from the table because Ma isn’t one to be told what to do.
I’m sipping on some coffee and one of the empty seats is pulled back, and I hope it’s Xan finally taking a break. My eyes fall onto the olive complexion of a man I’ve seen many times but don’t think I’ve ever spoken to.
“It’s Clark, right?” he asks, as I stare into the eyes of Xan’s ex-boyfriend.
“Yes, it’s Clark. You remember.” What else should I say to this man? An emotion akin to jealousy stirs in my stomach, and outrageous anger brews inside me. I tamp these feelings down because why should I feel jealous? Irrationally, I have my reasons, but rationally, I don’t. “Good to see you, David,” I say, but it’s not how I feel.
“I must admit, you’re the last person I thought I’d see here. But it makes sense since your mom and Liz were so close.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I confirm, but it’s so much more, and I won’t get into it with him. Before I can say more, JJ appears from the door that leads to the kitchen.
“Clark, I’m getting Ma out of here, okay?”
I push from my chair. “David, nice seeing you again. I better go.”
I don’t wait for him to answer, and I follow JJ through the kitchen and out to a side porch, not far from the circular driveway where everyone is parked. Ma sits on a set of steps, her face in her hands. She’s sobbing, and I wonder how long she’s been alone out here. This is my ma, and I can’t stand to see her grieve again.
I kneel next to her. “Hey, Ma. Let’s get you home, okay?”
She moves her line of sight to me, then to JJ. “JJ, son, can you wait for me at the truck? I’d like to talk to Clark for a second.”
He’s hesitant but turns, walking around the house to give us privacy.
“Ma, this has been too much on you. I know it’s hard. Why don’t we talk when we get home?” I sit beside her, and she brings her hand to mine, leans over, and kisses it.
“It has been hard. I loved my life with my three guys. With your dad and you two boys, I lived my dream. But Liz was an angel. She gave me balance, and there’ll not be a day that I won’t miss her, just like I’ll always miss your dad.”
Her sobs subside, and she brings her knees up to her chest. I imagine she’ll have many nights of grief, missing Liz, but my mom smiles at me. It’s out of place, and I wonder if she’s gone into shock. “Ma, we can talk about this at home. I’ll follow you and JJ.”
She kisses my hand. “The thing about mothers is they are rather intuitive. And I didn’t even see it at first, but Liz had. I wondered if there was validity to her claim, but it wasn’t until today that I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Saw what, Ma?” I ask.
“Come on, Clark, don’t be coy with me.”
