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She shakes her head. “That’s not true.”
“But it is. That day I woke up in the hospital and saw what I’d lost, I vowed to myself that I would never,ever, let you see how much it affected me. I vowed that I would remain your dark angel. But it’s not real. I’m not that man anymore.”
“You’re right, you’re not,” she replies, reaching up and wrapping her fingers around my stump, holding me tight. “You’re more. You’re everything. You’re the man I love, we love. You’re Dax.”
“Pen…” My voice trails off as she slides her hands up my arms and cups my face. “No. Listen to me. You’re Dax. You’re the man who saved my life.”
“You saved your own life, Kid,” he retorts. “Your brother never stood a chance. You were so fucking brave that day.”
She shakes her head vehemently. “I’m not talking about that night when I killed my brother. I’m talking about the night I first metyou.”
“What do you mean?”
“You saved my life that night when I had nowhere to go and I ended up in the basement of 15 Jackson Street.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I counter.
She smiles softly, her thumb gently caressing my stubbled cheek. “But you did. Youallsaved me that night.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“No, I’m not. I was scared. No, I was terrified that night. Not only had my brother beaten me black and blue, my own mother did nothing to protect me, and somehow I’d ended up in the basement of the Skins’ clubhouse with four boys I barely knew. Four boys who accepted me without question. Four boys who took me in, sheltered me, and loved me like I was worth loving.”
“Kid…” My voice trails off as she presses the pad of her thumb against my lips, silencing me.
“That night when I looked into your eyes, and I saw a soul the same as mine, a soul that was hurt by the people who should’ve loved him the most, I knew I had something worth living for,” she continues.
I swallow hard, the memory of that girl so far removed from the person standing in front of me, bringing tears to my eyes. It was like looking in a mirror back then, and seeing all the things I’d tried to hide from myself. I’d instantly wanted to protect her, that’s never changed.
“So you see, I’m not talking about that night you took a bullet for me. I’m talking about that boy who let me lean my head on his shoulder because I was too emotionally exhausted to keep my eyes open a second longer. I’m talking about the boy who whispered the words; ‘See a penny pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck.’ I’m talking about him. You made me feel special, that a kid with nothing to offer but herself was a lucky charm worth keeping hold of. You’re still that person, Dax. You’re still him.”
Bringing my hand up to cup her cheek, I lower my forehead to hers. “I don’t know if I am…”
“If you can’t believe me, believe what’s in here,” she replies, pressing her hand against my heart. It thumps beneath her palm, firm, strong, true. “It’s the same kind, sweet heart that loved a girl who didn’t believe she was worth loving. It’s the same brave heart that took a bullet for her, sacrificing a piece of himself. It’s the same heart that has loved and protected his best friends his whole life. That hasn’t changed. It never will. Do you understand?”
I grit my teeth. “I want to believe that’s true. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?” she whispers, rain falling over her face, merging with the tears that I know burn her eyes, just like my tears are burning mine.
“It’s justhard,” I say helplessly, unable to verbalise what I truly feel.
“I know,” she whispers, pressing her mouth against mine as she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me close.
I taste the salt on her lips, the strength of her belief, the faith she has in me, and I allow myself to believe her words, to let them sink in, to trulyhearthem.
I saved her.
And in return her friendship had saved me. All the hours we spent together laughing, dancing, getting up to mischief, and the love that blossomed between us as a couple, and as a group. We’d saved each other once. Our love can do that again.
Blowing out a sharp breath, I pull back, swiping wet tendrils of hair off her face. “Kid.”
“Yes?”
“Will you watch me dance?”
“Here?” she asks, tipping her head to the side.
“Please?”
