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He looks up at me, his eyes wide and sad, his spoon drooping in his grasp. For the first time, I’m seeing a human side of him, something that isn’t a performance of a spoiled rich boy trying to get attention. It takes me by surprise to realize that he can be more than his own caricature.
“I think pasta hates me.”
“You burnedpasta?” I can’t help the snorting laugh that turns into full body giggles when his frown deepens. Hell, he almost looks cute when he’s flustered like this.
I want to stop, but I haven’t found anything funny at all in days and seeing him look so sad and pathetic is like a ray of spring sunshine hitting the last frost of winter. Like everything can be okay. Like things can be funny again. Like it might just get better after all.
Joel glares at my increasing hysterics until he cracks too, his indignation slowly shattering into a smile until he’s laughing with me. We laugh until our ribs hurt and our eyes are streaming. I haven’t hurt this much from joy in such a long time, I’d almost forgotten what it feels like. And I hate that I’m noticing the way Joel’s hair flops into his eyes as he throws his head forward and the way his smile reveals his polished white teeth.
At last, he catches his breath enough to speak. “Guess you like your men attractive and useless, huh?”
The way a flirtatious spark flashes over his face makes my heart flutter and that makes me panic, which makes me blurt, “I don’t need men at all, actually.” And that’s true — I’m capable, smart, independent and all that stuff. I already know who I am and I don’t need to chase attention from men to make me feel better about myself.
Sometimes a little attention isn’t totally unwelcome, though.
“Shame, because I can be pretty smart sometimes too.” He does that effortless grin again, but there’s something in his eye telling me that he can’t work me out. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to get involved with this but I am finding myself attracted to him like a magnet. Am I just feeling sorry for myself after all?
“That’s not what the gossip sites say.”
“Aha! So you do read about me after all!”
“You’re unfortunately inescapable,” I say, my sour mood slipping out again. A small part of me feels bad, because despite everything I’ve ever heard about him, Joel’s been kind to me. Okay, so he might be flirting a little bit but somehow, it’s like he might actually have an interest in me. Like he’s not flirting for the sake of it. I’m not going to rush into anything, though. I’ve made that mistake before and I’m definitely not going to do it with a notorious billionaire playboy.
Not before I’ve thought about it for a little bit longer, anyway.
“Ouch,” he says, recoiling dramatically as if I’d slapped him. “Which ex gave you trust issues?”
“Don’t assume things about stuff you know nothing about.” I feel like a hedgehog with how prickly I’m being, but to his credit, Joel does back off. Even if I do think he’s a bit attractive, we’re nowhere near tragic backstory reveals yet.
“Okay,” he says, “My bad.” He gestures to everything around him. “Let’s just get pizza?”
“And just who do you think’s going to tidy all your mess up?” I put my hands on my hips to make a point and he deflates, sinking to the floor to start collecting noodles back into the pan. I almost want to help him but this is probably the first time in his life he’s had to pick up after himself and I’m relishing it just a little too much.
I also don’t really want to stand and watch him like some sort of tyrant, so I go over to the window to let some air in. It’s going to stink in here for days. As the haze starts drifting out into the winter air, I wander back over to the kitchen table to sit.
“Here,” Joel says, pausing with a handful of burned pasta. He tosses it into the pan and kneels up, reaching into his pocket so he can pull out his phone. For a second, he seems to admire his reflection in it, then throws it at me. I only just manage to catch it. “The password’s one-two-three-four.”
“Really?”
He ignores my incredulity. “Order a pizza. I have all the apps. Whatever you want, it’s your decision. Just use whatever card comes up.”
I unlock the phone and pull up my favorite pizza place. The veggie supreme from here is the best in all the city, and as a vegetarian, I consider myself an expert. What if he doesn’t like vegetables, though? I wouldn’t be surprised.
“What do you want?” I ask to be polite.
He shrugs, too occupied in his task. “Don’t care. No pineapple, though. Or olives.”
“Who likes olives on a pizza?” we say at the same time. I let myself smile at him, and he smiles back at me and I can see a kind of warmth in those sharp blue eyes. I think that if he let himself be genuine, I could find him almost tolerable as a person.
“Great, so you have good taste. Oh, and get mozzarella sticks too.”
“It’s not pizza without mozzarella sticks,” I say, which gets another nod of approval. Getting Joel’s approval shouldn’t make my heat leap like that, but because my heart is a traitor, it does.
I literally do not have the time or situation to be crushing on anyone right now. Hopefully, this is just all the adrenaline of the last week finding a way out, and it’ll be gone by morning. That sounds right.
A veggie supreme it is, as well as another generic cheese, two rounds of garlic bread, mozzarella sticks and fried mushrooms, and two large fries. That should keep us going. A flash of doubt hits me as I proceed to checkout, but I shake it off and hit order.
Joel has put his trust in me. He’ll just have to like the result.
