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“Do you love me?” I asked her.
She seemed startled by this question. Her smile dropped, and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She closed it with a pout before attempting to speak again.
I don’t know why I asked that. Why I couldn’t have just let us live in the moment.
Because a part of you wants her to say yes. A part of you wants to complete the fantasy and get your happily ever after.
And because there was no one I would rather be loved by more than her. I couldn’t imagine a life without her.
Before her, whenever I looked into the future, I would see a dark, blurry image that gave me no idea what was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.
But with her… I could see a future for us. I could see the time we spent on the beach together, laying on the warm sand and splashing her with water while she glared at me, only to get me back twice as fast.
I could see us getting our own place together, one that looked over the city. One that was small, with only enough space for the two of us, but it would beours,and because of that, it would be perfect.
I could see us traveling the world together. She showed me bits and pieces of her life that no other person had been privy to before.
I wanted it. I wanted it so badly that it hurt.
But I was scared.
Scared of what it meant. Scared because with one wrong move, it would all blow up in our faces and we would have no time to react.
“I have never loved anyone,” she admitted. Her face twisted into a grimace. “Maybe my handler once when I was a child, but the type of love you’re talking about… I don’t know what it feels like, so it’s hard to say.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her words.
“I don’t think you would give up your entire world just to give up on killing a target if it was not for love,” I said. “Tell me what you feel when you’re around me.”
“Frustration,” she said without missing a beat. This caused my smile to drop.
“Excuse me?” I asked with a shaky laugh.
“Frustration because ever since I saw you, I found myself unable to stay away,” she said. “Frustration because I can’t be near you without touching you. Frustration because whenever I think about someone who hurt you, all I see is red. Frustration because not once did I try to think of any way out of this except for killing you. Frustration because all I want is to possess you. Make it so I never have to go a day without seeing you again. Make it so you never have to worry about a thing in your fucking life. Frustrating because I feel so powerless to it all.”
My heart pounded in my chest. Heat expanded in my chest so violently it threatened to burst. I swallowed thickly, unable to fight against the barrage of emotions her words evoked in me.
“It may be a little twisted,” I said after clearing the knot in my throat. “But I think youdolove me. In a way. A completely unhealthy way, but…”
“Then I love you,” she said, her gaze snapping toward mine. Her face was serious as she looked over at me. So serious, in fact, that it caused my heart to stop. “I love you, Blake.”
“You can’t just say it like that. You have to mean it,” I murmured. My face and the back of my neck were unbearably hot.
“I mean it,” she said, a wicked grin spreading across her face. “And you don’t have to say it back,yet. We will have plenty of time for me to force it out of you as I bend you over the hood of the car and fuck that cunt of yours until you’re screaming to the world how much you love me.”
Oh my god.I regret ever introducing this type of talk to Quinn.How is it that for someone so inexperienced, she was able to make my pussy throb with just a few sentences?
I was suddenly looking forward to whenever we stopped next.
* * *
“I knew it,” I whispered in awe as I looked out at the ever-expanding ocean in front of us.
The air was even cooler there, hitting my face with each gust of wind and calming the redness the sun had left.
The beach was utterly desolate. We were the only two inhabitants.
The sea was strong, but not like it was that night when it swallowed Russell whole.
