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But I could never be the good girl he deserved.
I was too much of a fuck up for that.
CHAPTER16
RILEY
After the best blow job of my life, some mind blowing sex, and a lengthy cuddle session, Faith showered while I sat on her bed. My heart pounded intensely as if I were being punched from within. Anticipation gripped me, causing my entire body to shake and buzz like someone had plugged me into an electric socket. Her soft voice spoke behind me and I couldn’t contain myself. I spun around, almost leaping out of my skin.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
Wrapped in a towel, her damp red hair framed her shoulders. Faith, slender and fair with fiery eyes, was about to become my wife.
I struggled to explain to her why I’d been taking slow, measured breaths—inhaling through my nose and exhaling audibly through my mouth—knowing it would help ease the anxiety coursing through me. My therapist introduced this technique after haunting memories of a patient who died from gunshot wounds plagued me at night, keeping me awake.
Glancing at her, I noticed the uncertainty in her eyes. I trembled, but couldn’t bring myself to reveal my fears—fears of rejection, of her reluctance to proceed with the marriage. The air thickened as I clung to control and the silence was burdened by my thoughts and uncertainties.
“I’ve used this technique to manage my PTSD and anxiety,” I explained. “The horrors of our work resurface, even if we try to avoid them.”
Holding up my hands as if to shield myself from those memories, I continued, “My mindfulness practice helps me cope, so the panic doesn’t become overwhelming.”
“Are you nervous now?” Faith asked, eyes narrowing as if trying to read my mind.
I evaded the question through gritted teeth, tugging at my choking collar. “Not about work. I’m just afraid you won’t be happy.”
My words stuck in my throat, and I looked away, unwilling to let her see the alarm that still lurked. She deserved a more thoughtful wedding ceremony, but the situation didn’t allow it, and there was no time to do it differently. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the emotion from my voice as I continued to speak.
“I know you want this to be special,” I breathed.
Stepping closer, I took both of her hands and then lowered my head to gaze into her sparkling green eyes. This wasn’t just another game or some sort of roleplay. We were about to make a sincere commitment—a bond of mutual trust and respect.
“Do you, Faith, agree to accept me, Riley, as your protector and dominant partner? To obey me as your Daddy Dom, and in return, I promise that I’ll treat you as my princess and always keep you and our baby safe?” I asked.
There was surprise in her expression, accompanied by a spark of something I’d never seen there before. We hadn’t yet dived too deep into our roles, and I could tell it intrigued her.
She nodded, and my anticipation surged.
“Do you take me as your number one supporter, who believes in you more than you believe in yourself, the man who accepts you with all your flaws?” A smile trembled over her lips as she repeatedly dipped her head in concession.
“I promise to be your confidant, available to you day and night. I’ll protect you and our future child. Always be there if you need to seek solace in my embrace. Reward you, take you to unknown places, and provide you with sexual adventures you’ve never experienced. I’ll be there to answer your questions, soothe your fears, and erase your insecurities.” My voice was strong and unwavering, leaving no doubt as to my conviction. “And when you misbehave, discipline you as necessary.”
Her eyes crinkled with a smile, and she bobbed her head eagerly.
“We’ll listen to each other’s ideas without being critical. I vow to be honest with you, Faith, and never judge you. Be there for all your successes, failures, and moments of sorrow. I’m your Daddy.”
“You’re impossible to resist, Riley,” she whispered, her lips gently brushing against mine. I shivered in delight, relishing the warmth of her body against my own as we sank into an embrace.
I squeezed her hands tighter, conveying how serious I was about this commitment, and her skin was soft, bringing to mind how soft she was everywhere. If I didn’t stop thinking like this, we’d be late for our wedding.
“Let’s go get married,” Faith announced softly, an air of determination in her voice.
Taking her hands, I nodded silently, ready to spend my life with this incredible woman. Our marriage vow was a sacred oath that I would take to heart, even if she believed it was for insurance purposes.
“I’m completely onboard,” I said, “But maybe you should put on some clothes before we go.”
* * *
Faith’s family and her friend Luna had watched tearfully as Faith walked down the aisle to join me at the altar. My best man, Duke, had stood at my side, his eyes glinting, looking dapper in his suit.
