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I don't fight when he kisses me.
I don't fight when he lays me down, his body going over mine; instead, I welcome it.
I don't fight when I give him my virginity; instead, I pretend every bad thing that's happened between us never happened, that this is us starting our lives together like we were supposed to.
I pretend for one night that we're finally getting our happily ever after as he worships my body over and over.
I slowly trace the firefly tattoo with my name under it on Zayne's chest, right next to his heart. Over the years, I knew he loved me as much as I loved him, but he thought I deserved better. It didn't matter how much I tried to win him over; he always went to other women, and yet he got this tattoo on his chest dedicated to me; he got a shooting star on his forearm with those heartfelt words.
Tears start to spill down my cheeks, and I quickly wipe them away. It's early—really early—but if he wakes up and I'm still here, I know he'll never let me go, and I need to go. I need to start fresh. I love him so much; he's not just my best friend, but he's also my heart that he broke.
He tore it out of my chest and shredded it before burning the pieces. Why couldn't he have come to the conclusion he did last night months ago? Why did he have to come to the realization that I could make my own decisions before I was raped?
Wiping my tears again, I gently trace his strong jawline that's covered in a small beard as his chest rises slowly with his even breaths. I silently say goodbye to my love, my heart, and my past before I get up quietly. I put my torn dress back on before grabbing the shirt he wore last night, adamant to take this last piece of him with me, before taking off my bracelet that he gave me and placing it on his bedside table. I'm aware it has a tracker in it, so despite my never taking it off, it needs to stay.
I go to his door, looking at him one more time, knowing that when I leave this room, our one night is done and my pain will come back tenfold.I swallow hard and quickly leave. I ordered an Uber, and they should be outside now. Wiping my tears, I get into the common room, heading for the front door, but come to a sudden halt, my eyes widening with fear. He can't stop me from leaving; I need this; I have to go.
Axel, the President My pseudo-brother
He raises a brow at me, obviously taking in my state and putting two and two together, but I'm also leaving, and he's obviously confused as to why I would leave when the man I'm in love with finally claimed me.
"Star?"
He questions, walking towards me, but I take a step back, making him lift his hands up in surrender, and I hate that I did that; it's out of reflex; I couldn't help it. I know he'd never hurt me, but the pain in his eyes that I've just done it kills me. "Star? You know I'd never hurt you, right?"
He goes to walk over to me again, and tears fill my eyes, spilling over onto my cheeks, and I shake my head at him. "I know you wouldn't, but please stay there." He furrows his brows, but I plead with him, "Please, Logan," using his given name, and he tilts his head.
"What happened, sweetheart?"
I shake my head again, my tears falling hard and fast. "I'm leaving."
He nods. "OK, I'm not going to stop you, but I would like to know what's going on with a woman who I see as a sister."
I shake my head again. "No, Logan, I'm leaving Parkerville."
His eyes widen in shock. "Star, this is your home; you've finally got Flame; why would you..." He trails off, studying me, and I see the moment he notices my bracelet is gone because he tenses.
"Why would you leave Star? What happened?"
His voice hardens, and I rasp, "Hairy says hello" as a sob leaves me, my body shaking before the man in front of me instantly switches roles from brother to Pres. I won't tell him everything; I refuse to. They have a couple of rats in the club, and one of them, I'm certain, is Ginger. It's not a coincidence that she showed up to get Zayne's attention before I was raped. I need to find my dad's location before I tell him everything, and it could take months.
"When did the Devil's VP talk to you, Star?"
Sobs wrack my body before I take a deep breath. "Two weeks ago, when Flame" I spit his name, hating he's one of the causes of this, for my pain, "decided fucking Ginger on our friend's date was a better idea than spending it with me. H-He grabbed me by-by the toilets." I can see the realization hit him, and I sob, "He dragged me outside, and-and, oh God." My whole body trembles before I find myself in his arms, holding me tightly to his chest, “He-he said F-Flame killed his-his cousin, and I I’m-I’m his punishment."
"What did he do, sweetheart?" He rasps, and I rasp back, “He-he raped me."
He staggers back, bending forward and struggling to breathe while I rub my arms, the feel of him still on me.
"Fuck, no, no, no." It's all he says before he looks at me, realization kicking in full swing: "This was your goodbye to him, wasn't it? You slept with him as a goodbye, but you can't stay and fight because you don't think you can forgive him."
I shake my head and rasp, "The women constantly thrown-thrown at me was killing me slowly, Logan, but this time he left me for someone else again, and I-I-I." I can't say it again; I can't. I gather myself and say, "It's all on CCTV. He made sure to do it in front of the camera. I need to leave; please let me leave." He slowly closes his eyes, and he nods. "We will always be your family, you hear me. You are my sister in every way but blood. He swallows hard. "He will try to find you though Star; he might not have shown it, but he loves you more than life itself."
I walk up to him and place a kiss on his cheek before whispering, "Just not enough to choose me. I love you, Logan; you are my family always, but make sure you always choose her; she needs you." Annalise is struggling, and she needs him. It's time he pulled his finger out of his butt.
I walk out, leaving my family, before rushing to the gates. The prospect furrows his brows, but I ignore him and climb into the back of the Uber before the woman takes me to the Ford, where I spin out of the parking lot.
I'm an hour out of town when I hear the roaring of bikes. I look into my mirror and am instantly tense, pulling my hat down when I notice Dead Shot's, Axel's, and Zayne's bikes. They fly past me before I pull off the next junction and breathe a sigh of relief before tears spill down my cheeks.
