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I had tried so hard to keep the memories of the clinic from consuming me whole. But tonight, I knew that barrier would come crashing down. And I felt sick to my stomach thinking about it.
The bathroom door opened, and I felt the small hairs on the back of my neck rise.
I instinctively shrank back as he walked toward the bed. The blue in his irises seemed even darker than usual, making his eyes flash ominously as he locked his gaze on me.
As he got closer, I tried to press myself further against the headboard. I prayed that he would at least be gentle with me, that I wouldn’t face the same violence as last time. If I didn’t fight him, then perhaps he would go easier on me.
I inhaled a breath, yet it felt like my lungs weren’t working and I couldn’t get enough oxygen.
He came and kneeled on the side of the bed. He was so near that I could feel the heat rolling off his body. “You’re shaking,” he said.
Did he get off on my terror? “I…” But I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t force out the words past the lump in my throat. I tried to look away from his piercing stare.
“Look at me.” His voice was deep and commanding.
But I couldn’t. I was frozen as I felt terror spike in my veins, sending needles of fear shooting across my skin. I cringed back from his hands as he took hold of my face and forced me to look at him. His hands felt hot, like they were burning my ice-cold skin.
“Please don’t.” I whispered.
“What’s going on?”
I swallowed and tried to speak, but all that came out was a small squeak from the back of my throat.
He lifted his arm, and my muscles froze rigid as I screwed my eyes shut.
“Hey, you think I’m going to strike you? I would never do that.” Instead, he stroked my cheek. “Jessica, you don’t have to be afraid of me.”
But his touch was too much for me. “Yes, I do! You’re a Santino, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re all the same—monsters.”
He looked at me carefully. “Do you think that I am going to force you tonight?”
“Aren’t you?”
“That wasn’t my intention, no. I thought you understood—we will share a bedroom for appearances’ sake. You are mine now, but we will have a marriage in name only.”
Surprise took the place of some of my fear.
“Come, sleep now.” With that, he untied my robe and carefully pushed it off my shoulders before removing it completely. The movement of the silky fabric over my skin felt like a caress, and a shiver ran through my body. He gently pushed me back against the mattress. “Lie down,” he commanded.
I obeyed his instruction, confused and my mind struggling to understand what was going on.
He cocked his head to one side and frowned. "Sorry. Perhaps I shouldn't have just touched you…"
"No. It's fine. Just as long as there are no sudden movements. I'm fine as long as I know someone is going to touch me before they actually do it."
He nodded.
“What about…children? You’ll need an heir.” I knew one of my main duties as his wife was to provide him with a bloodline to carry on the Santino name. That was non-negotiable.
“There’s always IVF, but we don’t need to think about that just now.” He was so close that I could feel his warm breath against my skin as he spoke. “Just know that I’ll never force myself on you. You have nothing to worry about in that regard.”
I didn’t know this man—my husband—but this wasn’t what I thought would happen tonight. I felt tears of relief spring to my eyes, and I tried to gulp them back, but one slid down my cold cheek.
“Hey, it’s okay.” He wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb. He frowned at me. “I thought you understood—I’ll never force you and I don’t expect us to share a bed.”
