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“What does that mean?”Shit. What am I doing?“Are you saying you want to be–?”
I stop her before she can finish. I can’t be that guy.
I can’t be her boyfriend. Hockey first.
“I can’t be your boyfriend. I can’t be in a serious relationship. Hockey is first. Until I get onto a team, it has to be.”
She gets it. Lenny looks away again, but she’s nodding.
She gets why I can’t commit myself and my time to someone else. But then why won’t she look at me again? Why is she walking away?
Lenny steps closer to the counter and pretends to clean.
This place is immaculate compared to my kitchen. There’s nothing there for her to wipe up.
She’s pulling away. I just wish she’d talk to me.
All those things she said to Bridget, fuck, I feel them too.
The chills, the getting lost in her eyes. I want to hear more about that.
I’ll take anything that would come out of her mouth now. Not this quiet, unspeaking Lenny. She always has something to say. Some kind of retort or random babble.
Just say something!
Feeling the urge to touch her and do something, rather than standing here like a silent idiot, I come up from behind and cage her against the counter. She jumps when I press my mouth in the crook of her neck.
“Say something.” I plead.
Lenny turns to face me, still caged in my arms. She pushes my chest to get me as far back as possible.
“You confuse me.” She lets out a sigh.
“You confuse me too.” I try to lean into her, but she’s still pushing me back.
“I don’t want to do this anymore. I need to focus on my classes and I’m losing my mind trying to figure you out.” She’s saying we’re done, but her face is telling another story.
It’s like she’s struggling to get the words out.
“My brother is coming here, and it’s a wake-up call. I’m here for school, not to get my heart broken by some hockey player.”
“I’m not just some hockey player. I’m the best hockey goalie this school has seen.” I’m teasing, and she’s laughing at my arrogance. But fuck, I don’t want to break her heart.
We’re just having fun. The thought of hurting her is making my gut twist into knots.
“Friends?” Her eyes plead with me.
I don’t know how I’m going to be just friends with Lenny.
I’m crazy just thinking about it, but I know I’m going to be such a good friend to her that she’s not going to be able to keep her hands off me. I want her in so many ways, and once I find something I want, nothing can stop me.
I force myself away from the counter.
“I thought we were already friends?” I smirk at her.
“You know what I mean.” She rolls her eyes, frustrated with my teasing. “Friends only. No funny business. No worming your way into my bed. I’m still questioning if your account of how that happened is completely accurate.”
“Oh, Lenny. You have no idea the amount of restraint I had that night.” I tease her and keep my face as close to her as I can get. “I don’t think you’ll be able to do it. You’re going to cave.”
