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“No idea.” I say, thinking how much I should tell her. But it only takes me a second to admit the truth. I tell Willa everything and last night is no exception. “Until about a quarter of the way into her riding my dick when my blindfold slipped.”
“Oh fuck, Luca! And you didn’t stop?”
I can’t stop from grinning, even with Willa’s angry daggers shooting at me.
“I couldn’t stop. Once you get going, how do you just stop?” She punches my arm. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. That was an accident, but then she woke up, and… that’s it.” I shrug innocently.
“She’s going to be so mad at me,” Willa groans before pointing out the obvious. “She hates you. I don’t even know why, but she doesn’t hate anyone besides you.”
I have no idea why Kandi despises me either.
“Now that she’s out of your system, you can stop trying. Everyone can just move on,” Willa declares, as if the discussion is over.
“Can you find out?” Kandi’s hatred for me has been bugging me since last semester. Ever since I tried actually talking to her rather than dismissing her presence.
I’ve been pining over her from a safe distance for two years. I finally got the nerve to make my move, and she completely turned me down. She wouldn’t even give me a chance. Why does she hate me? What did I do?
“Find out what?”
“Why does Kandi hate me? There has to be a reason.”
The image of her riding me won’t get out of my head. I shift in my seat to stop the growing erection in my pants with the thought of her naked and losing all control. How could I ever forget about it? She’ll never beout of my system.
“Why does it even matter?” Willa gives me a knowing look, but I don’t answer. She knows why. Willa has accused me of it before. “Luca, why does it matter? You had your moment. Now let her go.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Kandi is not your average puck bunny around here. She’s not looking for a rich husband to drag her along to the pros. She’s not trying to trap down an athlete about to make millions to take care of her. She likes a good time and moves on.”
“I know.” I nod, completely aware of what she’s saying.
“And you! You are not exactly the tying down type. Aren’t you the guy who keeps telling me I should break up with my boyfriend to explore my options, because relationships don’t last?” She accurately accuses me of my own faults.
“I know.” I shift uncomfortably.
Actually, I just don’t care for the guy she’s with. Willa has been dating Vic for two years and he’s always rubbed me the wrong way. He’s cheating on her. There’s no doubt in my mind, but I don’t have the proof. I tried talking to her about it once, and it nearly ruined our friendship. So now, I tell her all relationships suck in general.
Not all do, just hers.
“What do you want, then?”
“Fuck Willa! I don’t know. All I know is I felt something.” I run my hand through my hair. “The sex was fucking phenomenal. Even before that, there was something there. You know why.”Please, don’t make me say it.“Help me out here,” I plead with her to help me, and she will. She’s the only one I trust that would. “Please, Willa-bean. Help me figure it out.”
She thinks it over as we pull up to the bagel shop.
“Fine,” she says while hopping out of my Jeep.
“Really?” I ask excitedly, running to catch up with her.
“Don’t screw this up!” She turns with her finger raised in my face. “First, we figure out if she feels the same way. If not, then we forget all about this so-called little school-boy crush you have on her. Deal?”
“Deal,” I agree, even though she is completely wrong.
What I felt was real. Sparks were flying the entire date. It wasn’t just the sex, and it wasn’t some bogus crush I have. I know she felt it too. We had a palpable connection. There’s no mistaking it.
I don’t know what I did for her to hate me as much as she does. I wasn’t the nicest guy to her last year, and I understand that. But there had to be something that set her off. I’m missing something, and I barely remember the drunken nights I had to escape my reality. I was depressed and grieving, drinking almost every night just to black out and forget.
I regret the way I handled it. There’s a lot I regret, but the thing I regret the most is not telling Kandi every day how beautiful she is. How the sound of her laugh would shine the tiniest bit of light on my darkest days. And how I would do anything for her to give me a chance.
