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“I won’t judge whatever it is. I just can’t go to my place now. If I see Evan . . .”
“It’s Evan’s?” she gasps.
“Ellie, please, remember this has to stay a secret,” I remind her.
“But isn’t this a good thing, Patty?”
“I couldn’t tell you. I can’t see past my panic right now,” I explain, holding my palm to my stomach while I try to take slow breaths that feel way too shallow.
“Okay, it’s going to be okay,” she assures.
We reach what must be her building. She never has any of us over, so I’ve never seen her place. We used to go to her parents’ mansion all the time, but since they’ve become estranged Ellie has been keeping more to herself.
“We should find street parking,” she explains. It doesn’t take long to find a spot and I use my credit card to pay. I make a note to myself I owe her for the Uber she took.
We head into her building. It’s old and rundown.
“Uh, the elevator doesn’t work but good news, I’m on the second floor.” She giggles nervously.
I smile, feeling a little sick she’s living in a place that is so run down. We take a set of old decrepit stairs and she opens the five bolts she has locked on her door. When we enter the air is musty.
“Sorry about the state of the place. I swear I clean all the time. I can’t get that scent to go away,” she rolls her eyes and I sense her discomfort.
“Ells,” I say. I take in her art easels and all the breathtakingly beautiful art hanging off strings on her walls. “Your art is beautiful.”
“Thanks, Patty but we have more important things to focus on. Besides this is why I don’t have you guys over because I know each of you will want me to move in with you. I don’t want to be anyone’s charity case. I’m my own person and this is what I can afford,” she says proudly.
“Okay.” I follow her deeper inside. There isn’t much space. It’s a bachelor suite with a metal double bed and a dresser.
“The bathroom is through there.” She points.
“Thanks.” I take the paper bag with the pregnancy test with me.
When I enter the bathroom, I see a mousetrap with a dead mouse inside and I scream at the top of my lungs and run back out.
“Ellie, there’s a . . .” I’m panting.
“Shit. I caught something, didn’t I?” She winces.
“This place isn’t sanitary, Ellie. You can’t continue to live here,” I insist.
She goes to her small kitchenette area and returns with a dustpan, broom, and plastic bag. She enters the bathroom and returns with the bag.
“You’re badass,” I tell her.
“I’m not. I don’t have a choice,” she admits, scrunching her nose.
“The coast is clear now,” she says. “I’ll just go send this down the shoot.”
She leaves the apartment and I enter the bathroom. It’s clean but so old and rundown. Everything is rusty.
I pee on the stick and wait, leaving the box on the edge of her sink and placing the test on top of it. The seconds ticking by feel like a millennium.
My mind is pulled back to a time I was with Andrew. My period had been late, and I was terrified, but I was also deeply in love. Even before the positive test result, I wanted it to be positive. I wanted to marry Andrew and have his baby.
“Okay, Patty, you got this,” I say to myself. Evan’s face enters my mind. His kind eyes, his chiseled jawbone. Things with him have been unexpected. We hit it off from the start. Developed a strong friendship. The attraction was always there. From the first time I put my hands on him I felt a pull, a chemistry I knew was burning hot.
I wash my hands and exhale.
