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Ellie pecks my cheek and, damn, it feels good. I think this conversation went relatively well, all things considered.
“Okay, we are going to see Ellie’s nana today. How about you go get yourself dressed,” I suggest to my daughter.
“I don’t know what to wear.” Syd shrugs.
“I can come help you,” Ellie offers.
“I was hoping we could talk,” I say to Ellie.
“Syd, why don’t you go to your room and choose two outfits. I’ll come soon and help you pick,” Ellie suggests.
“Okay,” my daughter replies, and then she is skipping off to her room.
Ellie blows out a breath and her shoulders deflate. I feel the same way.
“Well, that was interesting,” I say to her.
“I was not expecting her to say those things, and what she said about her mom kind of gutted me.”
“That was a blow I didn’t see coming,” I agree. “Maybe I need to talk about Sybil more often. She’s never been the type of mom to be there for Syd and, obviously, I can’t force her to, but on some level, I feel like I’ve failed my daughter.”
“Connor, you’re a great dad. Anyone can see how much you love Syd. You can’t control Sybil’s actions,” Ellie argues. I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but I still feel a heaviness at the center of my chest. It’s the same heaviness that’s always there, making me feel like what I am doing isn’t good enough.
“About the wedding.” I scratch my jaw; we need redirection not an analysis of my faults. “I didn’t realize you wanted to make a big shebang out of it.”
“I wouldn’t say big shebang,” Ellie counters. “I want to make it meaningful for Nana. I want her to see me in a long flowy dress. I want to smile wide and see her smile wide as she walks me down the aisle.”
“Okay,” I agree, but the thought does make me feel a little jittery.
Ellie’s lips curve. “Don’t look so nervous, Connor. This is going to be fun. It’s sad that I’m losing Nana, but I get to see her happy and fulfill her last wish.”
I nod.
“Come on,” she urges. “You need to go get ready too.” I stand slowly from the recliner. “Do you need my help?” She waggles her brows.
She makes me laugh.
“Aw, I knew you had it in you to smile,” she says tauntingly.
“You’re a lot,” I tell her.
“I know you mean that in a good way, Connor. And you have no idea.” She grins mischievously. Damn, what I wouldn’t do to kiss the hell out of this woman.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Ellie
It’s a warm spring day and I decide on a short-sleeve, flowy blue dress. I also quickly touch up my hair and then head over to Syd to check on her. She decided on a yellow floral dress.
“Oh, look at you, beautiful girl,” I say to her. I take her hand and tell her to twirl. “Come, let me brush your hair.”
I take her to my room and brush out her hair. Then I put it in a half-up, half-down ponytail so it stays off her face. She is smiling wide and her smile touches my heart.
“I’m happy you’re marrying my daddy.”
“I’m happy too,” I agree. It may not be the dream wedding with the happily ever after I’ve always imagined, but I’ve learned to look at the glass half full. Connor is a good man, who I have the hots for. Syd is a sweet girl, who I absolutely adore, and I am comfortable here in their home where they want me to stay. The fact I’m not living like a gypsy anymore is huge.
We head out to the main room and I stop dead when I see Connor. He’s wearing a short-sleeve, off-white, button-down shirt that’s loose fit, paired with a pair of khaki chinos. He looks drop-dead gorgeous because how can he not? He has muscles that go on for days.
