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I notice Syd is holding a small teddy bear in her left hand. I take a seat on the floor beside her. For some reason, I remember being young and having all kinds of nannies, some of whom liked to assert their power and size.
I smile and when she makes eye contact with me, I know I’ve gotten her attention.
“When I was little, I also had a nanny,” I begin and I scrunch my nose. I watch her blue eyes round. “Some of them were just big meanies. My brothers and I would do all kinds of pranks.” Then I cover my mouth and whisper, “Your daddy hurt himself, but he wants you to go to school so you can grow up and be smart. You’re a pretty girl, but you can’t get by in life solely on your looks.”
This causes her to laugh. It’s soft and sweet.
“Is it okay if I walk you to the bus?” I ask in a soft tone.
“That old lady isn’t nice,” Syd whispers, but when she takes in the old lady and realizes she heard what she said, her cerulean eyes turn round and she looks at me like I’ve startled her. I don’t know what that means.
“I heard that,” the older woman chides, pointing her finger. “It’s rude to call people old and I am very nice.” She has Syd’s backpack slung on her right shoulder. Then the lady looks to me. “I’ve been here all week and this kid hasn’t said a word to me. You’re clearly better with her than I am.”
I giggle when I see Syd is watching me with wide eyes. Really, I just don’t want her to be scared. Syd giggles too, surprising me.
“I’m Ellie, by the way,” I greet Syd.
“She doesn’t talk to people she doesn’t know,” her dad says, coming up to us. He looks pale and tired.
“I just heard her talk,” I state.
“She was clearly trying to make a point,” he says, clearing his throat and staring at the older nanny. “This is Sydney. I call her Syd for short and that’s Mr. Bear.” He tilts his chin at the teddy bear in his daughter’s arms.
“Nice to meet you, Syd and Mr. Bear.” I shake her hand and then Mr. Bear’s hand. This causes Syd to laugh again.
“If you tell me where the bus is, I can take her,” I offer to Connor.
“You really don’t have to,” he assures.
“No, I didn’t realize you had a better option,” I reply.
He huffs, “Right at the corner there.” He points with his finger. “We got about two minutes before it comes.”
“She’ll need her coat and bag,” the temp nanny says, passing them to me. I take them from her.
“Thanks.”
“I’m leaving.” She looks back at Connor.
“No, please don’t leave. I need help and . . .” he begs, but she walks right out the front door of the building and doesn’t look back.
“Let me get Syd to the bus,” I say to Connor, who nods.
As we walk, I ask her some questions.
“Do you like school?”
She shrugs.
“Who is your favorite teacher?”
Her response is a shrug.
When the bus arrives, I ask Syd if I can get a hug goodbye. “I know we don’t really know each other all that well, but I used to get on the school bus with my nanny and I always wished I had someone there to give me a hug.” It’s such an odd thing for me to say to a child. Maybe it’s my messy morning, or the fact that watching this little girl in her element is reminding me of my own childhood.
She nods and wraps her little arms around my waist tightly.
“Wow, that feels nice. I really needed this hug,” I say and it isn’t a lie. I’ve been living like a gypsy and failing at life. This hug is cathartic. It’s grounding. “Have a good day, Syd.” She lets me go. I pass her the backpack and coat. She smiles at me and waves.
