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“I’m tired. I should really get to bed,” she repeats, and she walks off. I’m kicking myself for being such a coward, because yes, I have a daughter to think about. My life is a mess, but I also want Ellie like my next breath.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Ellie
After taking Syd to her morning bus, I head back up to the apartment to clean up. Since Connor is feeling better I’m no longer caring for him, which means my salary is back down to what it was as Syd’s nanny. Lucky for me, Connor left a note before we even woke up that he went to the arena. The team is in town today for a round of playoff games and he wants to train with the trainers there, which is lucky for me because his actions spoke louder than words. He regretted our little hookup the second it was over, which is too bad because it was the hottest make-out session of my life. I can’t even think about how explosive the chemistry was between us.
I start by cleaning up the kitchen, scrubbing the counters with all my pent-up anger over his reaction. I take out the garbage, remembering him saying “thanks” like really? That is all you have to say, Connor Donaldson? I blow out some deep breaths, hoping to release this anger inside me. However, it doesn’t release so I do twenty jumping jacks, and then drop to the floor and do twenty push-ups. Not having regular access to a gym the last few years has made me creative with my physical activity. If I’m not using YouTube for yoga and Pilates classes, I am doing random reps. I feel a little less tense when I stand, so I go onto Pinterest to get some dinner ideas for tonight.
My phone rings and Nora’s name lights up the screen.
“Hi, Ellie, I just wanted to check in. Did you get the menu options Anna sent?” she asks.
“I did. I’m so sorry. There was so much going on. . .I will ask Connor about it tonight and get back to you, along with the date for the wedding.”
“That would be great,” she replies.
“How’s Nana?” I ask.
“She has a doctor’s appointment today. Even though she isn’t undergoing treatment, she is getting vitamin shots every week. They seem to give her a bit of a boost,” Nora reports.
“I’m glad to hear. I’ll bring Syd with me when I stop by sometime this week,” I say. I feel like my head is spinning so I don’t give Nora a specific day, which I know she would prefer. I just feel like the way my life is going I can’t make plans.
“Sounds good. We’ll be waiting,” Nora says. “Take care and let me know if you need our help with anything.”
“Thanks, Nora. Take care.”
We end the call and I wonder what the hell I am doing. I committed to marry a man who can’t even look me in the eyes after we hook up. Worst of all, I’ve gone and developed feelings for him. I’m so mad at myself. I’ve been so guarded these past years after everything that went down with my family. Then Connor comes along and… poof. All my inhibitions fly out the freaking window.
Just because he is a good father and sweet with his daughter doesn’t mean he will show me the same sweetness or kindness. Only he did. He was protective and sweet, and damn him for sending me mixed signals.
After cleaning up, I go to my room and change into a tank top and shorts and then I head to my art room. The easel I ordered for Syd came in and I set it up for her and pin a canvas to it. I’d like to get started on another art project as soon as possible.
I take a seat on my stool and work on the painting I am making for Syd’s room when I hear the door to the apartment open. Connor must be home. I left the door to the art room open because I wasn’t expecting him so soon, which means he is going to walk by here and see me.
He pauses at the door to the art room not five minutes after walking in the apartment, as I predicted, and I feel like I am holding my breath.
“Hi.” He leans against the doorpost, looking too good. The strands of his hair are messy. His skin has a little shine to it and his blue eyes glow.
“Hi,” I reply back coolly.
“You’re mad at me,” he states.
“I’m madder at myself,” I answer, but I don’t make eye contact.
I hear him sigh. “This is what I was worried about. We complicated things.”
“Things were already complicated,” I bite back and now he has my attention, only I’m shooting daggers at him with my eyes.
“Fair. We are obviously attracted to each other. We’ve grown close because of the situation of you caring for me and Syd,” he begins.
My eyes turn from shooting daggers to slits. “Is that what happened?” I can’t help the sarcasm bleeding from my tone.
“I’m not going to deny I have feelings for you, but last night was a mistake,” he says softly. Only his words feel like a thousand blades slicing me. Patty was right. This whole situation is me setting myself up for heartbreak.
“You made that clear last night.” I should be hearing him out, but the defensive part of me needs to protect my heart.
“Ellie, my life is in chaos. Between getting hurt and now Sybil breathing down my neck, I have whiplash. I need to do what’s best for my daughter. I’m all she has.”
