AllFreeNovel
Share Us
9
THEO
As I continued to talk with Emilie, my hopes were quickly deflating. She didn’t like me. She didn’twantto like me. She seemed pretty damn intent to never like me. I wasn’t sure I could change her opinion. How much energy did I want to put into this?
I couldn’t help but sense that Emilie had erected walls around herself, walls that were difficult to breach. Her demeanor, while professional and business oriented, carried an air of reluctance. It was as though she had been thrust into this ordeal against her will. Notas if. Clearly she had been. Most of the season’s participants were pushed into it. I was sure most of them would prefer to go about their lives doing what they wanted without worrying about marriage.
“Can I ask another question?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
“Are you in love with another man?”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “No!”
“Okay,” I said, smiling. “I just wanted to try and understand your hesitancy. You’re a beautiful woman. It wouldn’t be a big surprise if you’d already met and fallen in love with another man.”
She shook her head again. “I’m not in love nor have I ever been in love.”
“Will your parents let you hold off another year or two before forcing you to marry?”
Emilie’s gaze met mine, and there was a glimmer of vulnerability in her eyes. “No. Not after what Nora did. I never wanted to enter the season. Ever. I thought I might be able to avoid it altogether. If Nora married and had a couple of kids, I would be off the hook.” Her voice was tinged with a hint of regret. “But duty and responsibility have brought me here. She dumped this in my lap. I don’t really have another choice. I can’t let them down.”
I nodded in understanding, appreciating her honesty. “I can understand the weight of duty and responsibility. But don’t you believe that love and partnership can coexist with your ambitions?”
Emilie’s lips curved into a small, enigmatic smile. “Love is not something I really believe in.”
“We’re very different in that respect.”
“You believe in love,” she said.
“I do. My values are based on the idea of family, legacy, and the power of relationships. I want a companion. I want a partner at my side. I know we both have a lot of expectations we’re supposed to live up to. I just think having someone that understands what it’s like to walk in our shoes would make it easier. We have a better understanding of the pressure that goes with our lifestyles. We both know what it’s like being a part of the Golden Society. It just makes sense.”
“I get that, but that’s not how I operate,” she said. “I’m independent. I know what I want. I’ve never really had friends or needed them.”
Emilie’s fierce independence was a quality I admired, but it also posed a challenge to the future I had envisioned. As the conversation continued, I felt a growing sense of admiration and frustration. Emilie was a formidable woman, intelligent and driven, but her determination to keep love off the table seemed silly.
“Let’s say this is inevitable,” I said. “We’re going to be married, and with that, well, I’m sure you know what goes along with marriage. Wouldn’t it be easier and require a lot less energy to have some kind of relationship?”
“I don’t think you have to love someone to have sex with them.”
I almost choked. I supposed I could admire her bluntness. “No, but it makes it better. Not that we’re talking about this.” I looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on our very inappropriate conversation. “I just think you’ve come into this thing with the intention of hating me.”
“I don’t hate you. I hate that this is what I have to do.”
“Okay, so you hate the idea of me and the idea of marriage,” I said, nodding.
She blew out a breath. “I’m not opposed to love. I just think it’s something that happens organically. You can’t buy it and you can’t force it.”
“But if you don’t give it a chance, how can it possibly happen organically?”
I looked into Emilie’s eyes and waited for her to answer. I couldn’t help but sense that there was more to her story than met the eye. Her walls were high, her demeanor guarded, but there was a vulnerability that flickered beneath the surface. I was determined to uncover the truth, to understand the woman behind the mask.
Emilie was my match, and I was committed to making it work. I didn’t think I could be the martyr and commit myself to a miserable relationship. It just wasn’t in my DNA. I couldn’t handle a woman openly loathing me. My parents would have to understand. I knew they wouldn’t put me into a marriage that made me unhappy.
“I’m going to get a drink,” I said. “Can I get you something?”
“Am I allowed to drink alcohol?”
