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“I’m sure I’m not the only one that had a strained first encounter,” I said. “It’ll get better.”
“Theo,” she began, her voice carrying a tone of wisdom, and I knew I was in for some advice. “I can see that Emilie’s match has left you with mixed feelings. I watched the two of you tonight. I sensed the discomfort on both sides.”
I nodded in acknowledgment, my gaze returning to the expanse of the estate. “It was an awkward night. I’m not sure the match is going to work. I wanted it to, but I just don’t know if we could be happy. I know it’s fantastical to think there’s love for everyone, but I can’t be miserable. I need happiness in my life. Emilie is a formidable woman, and I can’t deny the attraction I feel, but our differences are also undeniable. I’m afraid they might be too much.”
Lady Hamilton placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “You must understand that Emilie didn’t have years to wrap her head around this. She had plans for the outside world, adventures she wanted to embark on, memories she wanted to create.”
I felt a sense of empathy for Emilie’s situation. “I can see that she didn’t envision this as her future. It’s a lot to take in, but she’s determined not to like marriage. Or me.”
Lady Hamilton smiled gently. “If you give her time, Theo, perhaps she will find the magic in Wed season, and in love.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the notion of magic. “Magic doesn’t exist, Lady Hamilton. This is a matter of practicality and duty.”
Her smile remained, unwavering in the face of my skepticism. “Theo, you’ve never been in love, have you?”
I met her gaze, my expression a mixture of surprise and curiosity. “No, I haven’t.”
Lady Hamilton’s eyes held a hint of knowing. “Love has a way of defying practicality, of bringing unexpected joy and beauty into our lives. Emilie may be fiery and independent, but perhaps there is a part of her that longs for the magic of love. Even the most independent, guarded person can’t hide from Cupid’s arrows.”
Love, a force I had always regarded with skepticism, suddenly seemed like uncharted territory filled with the potential for both joy and heartache. I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. I had this idea about love being easy. I thought I could meet someone and fall in love and that would be that.
Emilie was a complex woman, and our differences were pretty evident. I had heard of opposites attracting, but this was a little much. “I appreciate the advice. I won’t talk to my parents yet, but I think I’ve made a decision.”
“What would that be?”
“I won’t condemn myself to a life of unhappiness. I won’t condemn Emilie to the same. If she truly doesn’t want to be married, I’m not going to force her into anything. Her parents can do that, but I won’t be the fool she marries.”
“I understand,” she said, smiling. “But it’s only the first day. Don’t be too hasty. I’ve seen plenty of people fall in love. Sometimes it’s instantaneous and other times it’s a slow burn.”
“I hear you. I get it. I won’t do anything until I’ve carefully considered all the options.”
“That’s all I ask.”
As Lady Hamilton walked away, the road ahead was uncertain and filled with challenges. But perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for love. Or at least a stronglike. I could be okay with a fondness and a friendship. But I wanted love.
Victoria was waiting up for me when I got home. “Tell me everything!”
She pushed a plate of cookies at me and a glass of scotch. It was an odd combination, but it was one of my favorite bedtime snacks.
“Thank you,” I said and downed the scotch before putting the empty glass on the counter. “I’m going to need more.”
Her face fell. “Oh no.” She poured another glass and snatched a cookie from the plate. “What happened?”
I took a sip from the glass before answering. “Emilie doesn’t want to get married either.”
Victoria’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yeah. She’s not interested in tying the knot.”
Victoria sat down across from me, her expression curious. “And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know. I mean, at first, I was relieved. I didn’t want to get married to someone who didn’t love me. But now, I’m not so sure.”
“Why not?”
“I want love, Victoria. I want someone to share my life with and to build a future with. And I can’t help but think that maybe Emilie isn’t that person. She doesn’t want love. She sees me as her personal ATM for her family. She doesn’t want to get to know me. Her goal is to marry to satisfy her parents. She looks at me like I’m just some dude that fulfills a duty. She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t want a partner or a friend.”
Victoria listened intently, taking a sip of her scotch before responding. “It sounds like you’re looking for something deeper than what Emilie can offer you.”
