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I nodded, feeling a sense of relief at finally vocalizing my feelings. “I think I am.”
She leaned forward, placing a hand on my knee. “Then maybe it’s time to let Emilie go. It’s not fair to either of you to continue down a path that ultimately won’t make either of you happy.”
I sighed, knowing that she was right. “I just don’t know how to do that. It would kill her parents, and Mom and Dad would be pissed at me.”
Victoria gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. “You can’t live your life for other people. You have to do what’s best for you. And if that means ending things with Emilie, then that’s what you have to do.”
I took another sip of my drink, contemplating her words. “I promised Lady Hamilton I would keep trying. It’s only the first night. I’m not going to quit just yet. Lady Hamilton told me Emilie had plans for her life. She just found out she wasn’t going to get to chase her dreams. She told me to give Emilie some time to get her head around the idea of being married.”
“That seems reasonable. Will you do it?”
I nodded. “I think so. I want to make sure I’m giving her some time, but honestly, I’m not sure it will ever change for her. She seems to be very committed to the idea she is only marrying for duty.”
“Maybe she’s been hurt in the past,” Victoria offered.
“She’s twenty-two, how bad could it have been?” I asked with disbelief.
“You never know. Don’t quit. Not yet.”
“I won’t. Thank you for the cookies. I’m beat. I’m going to bed. I have to be up early tomorrow.”
“Goodnight,” she said and gave me a quick hug. “If anybody can thaw a cold heart, it’s you.”
As I lay in my bed that night, my thoughts were consumed by Emilie, Lady Hamilton’s words, and the information I had gathered about her family. She was very honest. I was a means to an end. My monetary value was more important than anything else I brought to the table.
Lady Hamilton’s explanation about Emilie needing time to embrace love and the Wed season echoed in my mind. Emilie was fiercely independent and driven by her ambitions. I understood her better than she probably realized. I was a second son. My parents never really pitted us against one another, but it was always very clear Roman would inherit. He was the one that had the most pressure on him. I was able to kind of fly under the radar for the most part. When he married his princess, it made it impossible for him to keep his role as the future head of our family in the United States. He had to spend the bulk of his time in England. Everything fell to me.
Unlike Emilie, I didn’t feel any animosity toward my brother. The responsibility of the family fell to me, but it didn’t make me bitter. I understood she was feeling betrayed. It was a fresh wound. Maybe, with time, she would not need to lash out and hold herself apart from the world.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Lady Hamilton was right, if Emilie simply needed to be shown what it looked like to be loved, taken care of, and supported. It was something that both intrigued and terrified me. I had never been in love, but I watched Roman. I knew what it looked like and how it could be all-consuming.
I knew that we were different—our values, our priorities, and our approaches to life were like night and day. But despite our differences, I couldn’t deny the magnetic pull I felt toward Emilie. There was something about her, something beneath the assertiveness and the strong façade, that drew me in.
I wanted to know her, to understand what made her the way she was. But I also knew that I couldn’t push her too hard, or she would pull away even further. I needed to be patient, to let things develop naturally.
But I would also be ready to pull the plug if it became clear there was no chance for a future for us. My parents would be disappointed, but I knew they would understand.
I rolled over and tried to sleep. My mind kept drifting to the moment she removed her mask. She was stunning. I loved that her beauty was so natural. Her skin had been like satin, even if I only got to touch her for brief seconds.
And her eyes? A man could get lost in those beautiful pools of icy blue.
12
EMILIE
The next morning, I woke up bright and early, anxiousness swirling in my chest as I prepared for the annual ladies’ tea that followed the first ball of the Wed season. I crawled out of bed and peeked out the window. It was a sunny, spring day.
The events of last night were still haunting me. I couldn’t really explain what happened with Theo. It didn’t matter what he said or how beautiful he thought I was. It all had the same outcome. We were going to be married. This whole song and dance with the season was very annoying. It was cruel. The outcome was going to be the same no matter what we did. The stupid balls and the silly activities were all just a form of torture. It wasn’t like it changed anything. We were getting married regardless. Both of us understood the responsibility we owed our families.
Astrid entered the room with a tray and the dress I had chosen for the day. It was my favorite dress out of all the ones we ordered from the seamstress. It was a pretty rose color with a skinny belt that was bejeweled with lots of pretty rose quartz gems. I would have been happy to wear jeans and a T-shirt, but that would absolutely send the rumor mill into overdrive. I could already see the headlines—Princess Emilie shows up in jeans. I didn’t dare do that to my family.
“Tell me everything, Emilie,” Astrid exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “How was the ball? Did you enjoy yourself?”
I sighed, unable to hide my emotions. “The ball was interesting, to say the least. My match is handsome, kind, and the most noble gentleman I could have imagined. Did I mention he was handsome?”
Astrid’s laughter rang out. “Is he easier to fall in love with than you thought he would be?”
I smiled wryly at her question. “Yes,” I admitted and then quickly shook my head. “But I’ve made it clear to myself that romance has no place in this arrangement. It’s strictly business.”
