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I took a deep breath and told them about my predicament with Theo. I could talk to them more easily than I could talk to my parents. My parents would not care what I was feeling. It was all about duty and doing what I was told. It was nice to have someone other than Astrid to complain to.
When I was finished with my tale of woe, I looked at them and waited. I expected them to remind me of how important it was to marry well and do what was right for the country.
“Emilie, when your aunt and I were first matched, I believed it was a choice between duty or love. I thought it had to be one or the other.”
“What changed your perspective?” I asked.
My aunt smiled warmly. “It took time and patience, but we realized that duty and love don’t have to be mutually exclusive. They can coexist, if you allow them to.”
My uncle nodded in agreement. “Your father and I were raised with the belief that it was either honor or love, but over the years, we’ve come to understand that it’s possible to have both. It’s a matter of finding the right balance.”
“It’s not easy,” my aunt added. “It requires a lot of patience and some compromise.”
I sat back, absorbing their words. For as long as I could remember, I had been told that duty came above all else, that love was a luxury that couldn’t be afforded.
My uncle smiled and reached for one of the cakes. “Emilie, you have the opportunity to redefine your own path, to show the world that honor and love can coexist. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth fighting for. You’re a strong, young lady. If you like this man, you need to tell him.”
“Or lose him,” my aunt said. “If he’s told you he will only marry for love, you need to give him something to hope for.”
“My parents don’t believe in love,” I said.
“They don’t have to believe in it,” my aunt said. “It’s not their life. You are determined and you will figure out how to do both things at once.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling, feeling a sense of relief.
I checked the time and knew I had to go. Theo wanted to go back to the property and go over the list of changes. I gave them hugs, something I rarely did, but it was a safe environment to try the whole touchy-feely thing.
As I left my aunt and uncle’s home that morning, their words echoed in my mind. I was filled with hope and a renewed sense of purpose. I needed to talk to Theo. When I got back to the house, it was strange, but I sensed he wasn’t home.
“Astrid?” I called out.
No one answered.
I went into the kitchen and found one of the housekeepers. “Is Mr. Ashford here?” I asked.
“Mr. Ashford left a bit ago,” she said, smiling.
“Left?”
“He went to the property,” Jack said, walking in from the garden. Astrid was right behind him.
“Without me?” I asked with surprise.
“I believe he said he wanted to get a jumpstart on things.”
I bit back a retort. He didn’t want a jumpstart. He wanted to piss me off. He was pissed that I avoided him yesterday and snuck out this morning.
“I see,” I said through a smile. I was going to have to get used to smiling through anger, pain, and frustration.
“Astrid, can you arrange a car to take me out there?” I asked nicely.
“Of course,” she said, nodding, and quickly left the kitchen.
Jack walked away as well. I was sure he was pissed as well. If Theo had done something shitty to me, Astrid would take my side. With Theo, it wasn’t just a matter of hurt feelings. It was a clear indication that he was no longer willing to engage with me on a personal level. The connection we had shared was slipping through my fingers, and I couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing my family or failing in my duty.
I had to make it right.
My ego got the best of me, and I decided that if he was going to give me the cold shoulder, then I would do the same in return. I couldn’t let myself be vulnerable, couldn’t allow my feelings to be hurt any further.
