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I tried to bury that familiar stab of anger at him as I thought of it. But I trusted her, and she felt safe around Love.
“She hasn’t forgiven me,” he whispered, as if reading my mind. He sat up carefully, so as not to disturb her, and rubbed his face. “And I don’t want her to, not until she’s ready. She needs real healing, not something forced on her because she’s looking for safety—which, for her, is almost impossible.” He cleared his throat. “It’s why we owe you a debt I don’t think any of us can ever repay.”
I frowned.
“You offer her the safety no one else has. She can do the rest as she needs. So… Thank you for that, Drake.”
I nodded, feeling the ongoing vibrations of her purr against my chest.
“She’s… different,” Love said. “Even from before when she would spend time with you. She’s… running out of strength.”
He was right. It was harrowing, the lines in that book, and the change I’d seen in her since she had returned. There was an emptiness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. It meant we’d failed. Her nightmares had found her, and there had been no one there to protect her. Something happened in a person, in moments like that. Left alone to face the darkness, she’d reached for the only thing remaining for protection. That empty void that stole hope and love and passion, in exchange for a cold armour, promising protection for just one more day.
One more hour.
One more minute.
I tried hard not to think about what might have happened in those days in which she was taken. She’d said nothing about them aside from the one comment when I’d seen the bruises on her skin, and I couldn’t be sure if that was the dark bond or her choice.
The way she’d been able to hold herself before, with a smile for me, even when I knew now she must have been terrified, was gone. Her fake smiles were rigid, and the real ones, rare. She could tell me it was because she was tired, but I knew the truth.
She hadn’t touched her makeup, and the boxes from her home remained unpacked. She made me give her another of my t-shirts, and anxiously held onto the hem throughout the day.
She’d left the room once with me and Love yesterday, joining us in the downstairs kitchen while we cooked a full roast just for something to do. She’d sat on a barstool, chopping vegetables, content at least. Then Ebony had crossed the foyer to the office where Leighton occasionally dropped in, and Vex had gone tense. I don’t know if it was Ebony, or just the introduction of anything outside of the bubble that was me and Love, but she’d looked afraid.
“No,” I told Love, holding her closer beneath the warmth of the sheets. “Strength isn’t something you can take from someone.”
I believed in her strength, I’d seen it hold up against monsters I couldn’t even imagine. In the videos, I’d seen it in the face of the alpha who had left that bite on her neck. I’d seen it over and over and over. She was a woman who would fight until there was nothing left. That was her beauty. That was what she had to offer.
It wasn’t Vex’s strength that was failing right now.
“Do you know what it’s like to give and give until there’s nothing left?” I asked. “Only for someone to turn their back and walk away?”
I did.
I knew what it was like to break myself for people who walked away the second they thought there wasn’t anything more to take.
I’d given what had felt like an eternity, and finally, Ebony had pried me from what had slowly turned into the worst nightmare of my life. But I’d had the strength to survive, because I’d known what I was fighting for. I’d been where Vex was; in the aftermath. In that moment of silent shock, when it was safe everywhere but your own mind. For me, unlike Vex, it had been over for good, and still I’d struggled.
My brother, Rickard, had visited once. It had been the familiarity I’d needed—I’d missed—and I’d been about to open my mouth and tell him everything.
“You left the Lightning pack for one that’s barely even formed?” he demanded.
I drew up, frozen. He’d just arrived, and I’d fallen into his arms, shaking. He was my big brother, and he’d supported me through everything. When I’d seen him, it was the first time since Ebony had dragged me from that house, that I’d been able to cry.
“I…” I drew up, looking into his eyes.
“What the fuck is going on?” he asked. He seemed angry. That was… it was okay. He didn’t understand, not yet. When he did, he would be relieved. I’d never seen any of them after I’d joined the Lightning pack. I’d been too scared, not trusting the face I would have to put on if I did. Not trusting the lies I would have to tell. But now, I was free, and I still had a chance to make something of myself with the Crimson Fury pack.
“It’s fine. They’re an approved elite pack,” I said. “They’re just new.”
“That doesn’t guarantee success like—”
“I’ll get her into another facility if I have to,” I said, quickly. “Ebony’s working on it now. She won’t even notice.” I knew that’s what he was worried about. We all were.
My mother had a rare bone disease that left her needing medication and around the clock care. That kind of treatment wasn’t something my family could have dreamed of before I joined the Lightning pack.
“What about the money?” he asked.
