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I sigh. Maybe it’s almost a groan. “You don’t know everything, Chase.”
“Course not. But I know you.” He slants me a quick look. “You always assume other people are as honest and committed and hard-working as you are, and almost no one is. He’s gonna hurt you. Can’t blame me for not wanting to see it happen.”
“He’s not going to hurt me. I know he was hard to pin down at the beginning, but he’s been better lately. I think he’s almost ready to commit.”
“You’re wrong.” He’s still not intense or angry or upset. Just lazy.
He likes me as much as he likes anyone, but he never takes anything seriously.
“I’m not wrong. So let’s not talk about it anymore.”
“Works for me.”
“Did I tell you I added another stop on my trip?”
“Yep. Christmas festival and craft fair near Wilmington.”
For the past few months, I’ve been planning a long trip through North Carolina, stopping at every holiday craft fair, Christmas shop, and festive destination I can find. I’ve made a meticulous schedule, and I’ve got every step planned to the detail. Part of the trip is looking for new artists and craftspeople, but part of it is just for fun.
I love Christmas, and this is the first year I’ve been able to take off enough time from work to really enjoy the lead-up. I’ve been looking forward to the trip for a long time, and everyone knows I’m excited about it.
I asked Brian early on if he wanted to join me, and he said sure. So I started to make plans for two. After a while, he hemmed and hawed about being able to take so much time off, but last week he said he’d be coming for sure, which I took as a very good sign.
Everything is going well—with my life and my relationship. And Chase really shouldn’t be making me doubt that with his obnoxiously insightful comments.
Brushing off those worries, I tell Chase more about my research on the new stop on my trip. He asks a lot of questions and seems as interested as he is about anything. I have a good time on the remainder of the walk back, and I’m no longer annoyed with him when we reach my house.
My family isn’t as rich as a lot of families here in Green Valley, but they’re quite well off. My grandfather set up a trust for me before he died. It’s not enough to live off of for the rest of my life, but it paid for my education and this house—a cute little Craftsman with an updated kitchen and bathrooms that I bought when I moved back to town after graduation.
With the exorbitant real estate prices in this town, I’d never have been able to pay for this house with my current salary, so the trust has been a great blessing, and I’ve always been appreciative to my grandfather for providing for me that way. The remaining money in the trust I’m leaving untouched in case of emergency or to supplement my retirement.
Chase and I pause at the end of my front walk. “All right then,” he says.
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I glance up at his face and then back down. For some reason, the look in his eyes is unnerving.
It’s almost soulful, and I have no idea why. It makes me nervous.
He shifts his weight from foot to foot and clears his throat. “All right then,” he says again.
“Yeah. Good night.” I'm still lingering, and there’s no reason for it. We’ve said everything that needs to be said.
I’m probably feeling kind of off-kilter and needy because of our conversation about Brian earlier. Chase and I usually talk casually, and that discussion was more intimate than normal.
It gave me all these weird feelings.
But they’re not like me. Especially not toward Chase.
Chase has always been a fixture in my life but one in the background rather than front and center. I can’t put too many hopes in him. He’ll never treat me wrong, but he’s also not going to put any sort of effort into getting closer to me.
That’s not who he is.
He eases through life, taking the easy route and avoiding anything too hard and upsetting. That’s fine for a friend.
But I simply can’t take him seriously because he’ll never take me seriously back.
Two
PAIGE: All ok with you?
