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“You weren’t meant to live a sentient life. You were forged to move freely about the world, to make it your own. Your parents know that, your sister knows that,Iknow that. We would not ask you to be anything other than yourself.” Her hands traveled up my arms until they grasped my face. She leaned in to kiss me, slowly. “It does not mean they don’t miss you. That they don’t wish you were here. It means that they love you enough to let you go.” I closed my eyes and sighed, pressing my cheek into her hand. “Do you feel that often? Feel like you’re not needed? Not loved?”
Giving myself time to respond, I grabbed her hand and pressed my lips against her palm. “I used to, sometimes.” She kissed me. It was soft, tender. When she pulled away, I said, “But I don’t feel like that anymore. Not when I’m with you.Youmake me feel loved, Pep.”
“You are,” she whispered.
She settled back into my arms, her head resting against my shoulder. I twirled a piece of her hair between my fingers. “You said I wasn’t meant to live a sentient life.”
“Yeah, like you were always meant to travel. Not live in the same place forever.”
I nodded. “Do you think you were meant to live a sentient life?”
I could feel her giggle against my chest. “Not until I’ve swam in every ocean, stepped foot in every country, and seen every Wonder of the World.”
Flying. Soaring. Swimming through clouds.
“Penelope Elizabeth Mason,” I pressed my lips against the top of her head. She turned to look up at me, the fire reflecting in her eyes, making them glow. “I think you’re my perfect match.”
A smile exploded from her lips. She shook her head and looked down into her lap. “Ditto.”
I grabbed her hand and wrapped her fingers in mine, hoisting her up. She swung her leg across my lap so that she was straddling me. I ran my hand down her spine until I reached her backside. She giggled, settling into my lap. I moved one hand to her face, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You know, someday your initials are going to be P.E.E.”
She blew a raspberry with her mouth. “Well, that settles it, then.” Leaning back from me, humor highlighting her face, she tried to scramble out of my arms. “There is just no way I could ever marry you. I mean, it’s clearly a sign from the Universe.”
I tightened my grip on her, pulling her back to me. “You know, I like to think that the Universe is a little mischievous. If anything, I think it’s a sign that you should absolutely marry me.” I leaned into her lips. “I think it’s a sign that you definitely will.”
“You seem very confident in that statement,” she breathed into my mouth.
“Oh, I am. I’ve known since I was old enough to understand what marriage meant. It was going to be you or nobody at all.”
She let out a small moan as she kissed me. Pulling away, she chortled. “I used to scribbleMrs. Penelope Edwardsin my diaries. Until I was like, eleven. Maddie found one once.”
“Manifestation,” I hummed. “It works.”
Her head fell back, her hair tickling my hands where they grabbed her waist. She laughed. I knew she was probably still afraid of marriage. I knew it was something in such a far-off future for us. Especially since we’d only been dating two months. I knew it was probably crazy that I was even thinking about it. Yet, it somehow felt longer between us. Like I’d already seen, and known, and experienced everything I needed to with her. Everything I needed to know that she was it for me. The fact that I could talk about it openly, and she didn’t cower away, or change the subject, only solidified that understanding that much more.
She gripped the back of my neck and sighed. “But just so you know, I want my PhD to have my name on it. My dad’s name. I want to do that for him.”
I think she was more so trying to tell me that she wouldn’t be ready to marry me until she finished school. Which I had been fully prepared for. I believed what she said about her name, too. But I think it was a different way of her telling me she wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be for a while. I think she knew that I wouldn’t give a shit if she actually changed her name. Hell, I’d take her name. I didn’t care, as long as I got to marry her.
I nodded. “Okay. So, no proposing until you finish school. But the day you graduate, the day you hold in your hand a degree that reads your name as it is now, I’m going to be dropping down to one knee. I’m going to make you P.E.E.”
Her face straightened for a second as she stared at me. Her features then contorted into something both amused and horrified. She fell into my neck as she wheezed. “That is the worst pre-proposal I’ve ever heard.”
“How many pre-proposalshaveyou heard?”
She snorted. “Well, none. But you’re not setting the bar high.”
Laughter filled the air between use, buzzing with its own kind of electricity. She sat up and stared down at me again, but her eyes kept darting toward my parent’s house behind me. She tilted her head to the side as if she was considering something.
“What?”
“I was just wondering if your parents have stuff to make s’mores.”
I stood up with her wrapped around my hips. Her legs dropped to the ground, and she stepped away from me but I kept her hand in mine. I craned my neck toward the backdoor of my parent’s house. “Let’s go check.”
Iopened the door to my parent’s kitchen pantry and stepped inside. There was a box on the bottom shelf that Lena labeled:campfire kit. There was chocolate and graham crackers– but no marshmallows. I turned and began sorting through the baking section of her highly organized pantry.
“I haven’t been in here since… you know.” I glanced at Penelope and found her standing just against the doorway, not fully inside.
