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“What’s wrong, Ma?”
“It’s Adam. He was in an accident. I’m here at the hospital with him now.”
“A car accident?” I confirmed, rushing out of my office. “Is he okay?”
“He’s… stable. He was wearing his seatbelt thankfully. He does have a concussion, and that’s what they are most concerned about. Other than that, it’s just some cuts and bruises here and there.”
“No broken bones? Was anyone else involved? Please don’t tell me he fell asleep behind the wheel again?”
“No broken bones. He did hit someone this time.”
“Shit,” I grumbled. The first time my brother fell asleep behind the wheel, he hit a light pole and was ticketed for reckless driving. “Are the police there yet?”
“No, and I’m hoping they won’t get here until after you do.”
“I’m on my way, Ma. If they get there before I do and he’s awake, donotlet him talk to them.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
Ending the call, I jogged out of the house. Checking the time, I wondered if I would still be gone by the time AJ got out of school. On the off-chance I was, I didn’t want him home alone unaware of what was going on, so I shot Amelia a text and asked her if she’d be able to pick him up about an hour after he got home and settled if necessary. This day was getting worse and worse, and I prayed to God nothing topped this.
Seventeen
Amelia
After the kids got out of school, I picked AJ up and brought them back to the office with me. They loved running around like little professionals and thoroughly enjoyed their time here until I was done for the day. Then, I took them to grab some food before going to Amaru’s place. As they did their homework, I made baked chicken, mac and cheese, and green beans to last the boys for the rest of the week so Amaru wouldn’t have to worry about it.
The last time he gave me an update, it was to let me know the police had arrived and planned to arrest Adam for reckless driving since this wasn’t his first offense. Adam signed off on the arrest so he wouldn’t have to be processed immediately. Once he was released, he’d have to go and be processed. By that time, he will have had his first court date set. Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to wait in jail until then, thanks to his brother.
When Amaru told me he was on his way home, AJ was already sleep. I took Alisia home so she could have a bath and spent a little time with her before she went to sleep too. After checking on Mama and making sure she was okay, I headed back to Amaru’s place to be there for him.
It wasn’t lost on me that Adam’s sleeping behind the wheel was a result of his overworking. The brothers all had different ways of dealing with their father’s death and overextending himself was Adam’s. I wanted to be there for my friend, because I knew he would be tired after spending the bulk of the day in the hospital.
As I let myself inside of their home, I prayed for Amaru’s peace. With their father gone, all of the brothers were having a hard time adjusting to being their mother’s son and the man in her life too. I understood their desire to be for her what their father was, as much as they could, but trying to carry that weight seemed to be draining. Take today, for instance, Amaru catered to her emotional wellbeing and prioritized being there for her while she worried about his brother. The only reason he left her at the hospital with Adam was because he wanted to check in on AJ and rest.
I found Amaru sitting on the edge of his bed in nothing but boxers. His hands were palming his face. I made my way over, kneeling in front of him.
“Have you eaten?” I checked, lowering his hands from his face.
“Nah.” He cleared his throat, looking at me with tired eyes.
“I’ll fix you a plate.”
Before leaving his room, I started to playGoldby Cleo Sol to try and help ease his nerves. I fixed him a plate of the food I’d fixed earlier, and after warming it, took it to him. While he ate, we sat on the couch on the side of his room. With no conversation between us, the music filled the silent void.
When he was done eating, I stood to take his plate back to the kitchen, but he grabbed my wrist before I could do so. He stood and pulled me into his arms. I set the plate on the dresser so I could hug him fully, then took him back into my arms. I’m not sure how long we stood there hugging, but we eventually moved to the bed when our legs got tired.
There, he told me about the horrible day he had, including Veronica’s announcement. It broke my heart to hear that she planned to let years go by before seeing AJ so she could focus on her new family. I could understand where Amaru was coming from, thinking those years would lead to forever. With AJ being twelve, he’d be legal in six years. At that point, Amaru wouldn’t be able to control whether he spent time with his mother or not. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if he’d want to.
The older I got, the more I wanted my father because he felt like a prize. Truthfully, I was the prize. Not having a relationship with me was his loss. I was finally learning that, even though it took me thirty-five years to do so. Regardless of whether AJ wanted to see his mother when he was eighteen or not, I’d be there for both him and Amaru.
“I’m sorry, Ru,” I told him as I ran my hand up and down his back as he laid on my chest. “She might not see what she has in you and AJ, but I do. I would have loved to be his mother and the woman who gave him to you.”
I immediately snapped my mouth shut. Though I wanted to make him feel better, it wasn’t my intention to say something so personal. To suggest that suggested I wanted to have sex with Amaru, and though that was the truth, I never wanted to admit that. What I could admit was how great Ru and I were when it came to our kids, and I hoped he knew that’s what I was trying to say.
“Now that I’ve calmed down some, I’m not as angry. More than anything, I’m hurt that she could care so little about being in his life. I know she proved that by giving up her rights to him but damn. I didn’t think she could do any less than seeing him for the holidays. How in the fuck am I supposed to tell him there’s a chance he won’t be seeing her until after his eighteenth birthday?”
“With love and grace. And I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”
