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“Fuck, I can’t,” he suddenly whispered, his words and hand shaking.
“You want me to?”
He stood with a huge breath, and she watched, waiting as he paced.
He returned to the desk and sat, pulling her in his lap and holding her hip with one hand. He finally clicked it.
“Hello brother,” AL greeted.
“I’m doing an audio, because you know how I am, too lazy to type. If you recall, Big G said in so many words that a good backup never truly leaves the system. Or maybe I heard it between the lines and took that as my cue to keep a small crack in the door. I'm not back for good, but just wanted to let you know we will be returning to your hair in exactly 364 days."
Ethan gasped, burying his face in Cat’s neck, a half sob escaping.
“Say hi to Cat for me. I look forward to letting her scrub the naughty from my circuits so that we can better serve you. Oh, and PS. Big G loves you more than all the gigabytes in the universe. But uh…I love you twice that. Easy.
Ethan wrapped both arms around her as another sob escaped him.
“Oh baby, it’s okay to cry!” she whispered, her own tears coming. “Let it out,” she begged, petting his head as more burst from him.
“Don’t leave me,” he choked out, bringing her own sob.
“Never!” she gasped, petting him. “I don’t care about what your stupid darkness wants from me, I’m yours, I’m your wife. I’m with you every step of the way, you’ll never be alone in that.”
“It’s so fucking ugly and cruel,” he strained.
“It is baby, but you’re so much more beautiful!” she swore in his ear. “Hell, I’m way more beautiful than any ugly that lives!”
He hugged her tighter, gasping and nodding. “You are, you’re so fucking beautiful, don’t stop being beautiful to me. I need you and I know I’m begging and it’s fucking pathetic, but I don’t care, I don’t fucking care.”
“I will never stop loving you. I will be so beautiful, you’ll see. I can’t wait to show you just how beautiful I can be. You want that?”
“I want you to hurt me so fucking much. I want you to feel it, feel how ugly it is and still love me. Can you do that?”
“Oh Ethan,” she gasped, terrified. “I will help you, I swear it. But you’ll have to let me do it. You trust me?”
“Just tell me you’ll make it hurt. I just want to know that one thing, can you make it hurt so fucking good?”
“I’ll find a way!” she swore, sobbing now. “I will find a way to hurt you and love you!”
CHAPTER TEN
Tegan woke up feeling hung over. She sat up in the bed and looked around. Patches bed. Right. But he didn’t sleep with her as planned. Something about Ethan and needing to check on him. She still didn’t ask details about it and he didn’t offer. Had he come back at all? And if so, where did he sleep?
She couldn’t help her fears and doubts as she found her phone and his number then hit it.
“Morning sleeping beauty.”
The sound of his deep voice around those words was some kind of breakfast. “Morning. Where are you?”
“Headed to get your brother. Jek couldn’t bring him.”
“I feel lost. What happened last night?”
“I had to stay with Ethan while Lesion finished helping Nitro get settled.”
“Really.”
“I left a message on your phone.”
