AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I like Gabe, I really do, and he is a very good-looking guy; most girls drool over him, but I’m not interested in dating anyone. He hasn’t asked me yet, but his flirtatious attitude toward me has become worse and I know it will be any day now. Gabe is a great friend, and I’m not wanting to hurt him by having to turn him down, so I have to figure out a way to get him to not ask me the dreaded question. I can’t start anything with anyone until I know what going to happen with me and Jace, anyway. Jace would be my number one choice no matter what.
I chuckle nervously, “I have absolutelynodesire to learn about desires! Myonlydesire is to concentrate on the next four years of schooling.”
A shadow passes his face, but he hides it right away, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know that Ella is a nerd, disguised as a hot chick.” He jokes, but there is some truth to his tone, maybe a little hurt.
I shrug it off, though, “I didn’t know that a hot chick wasn’t allowed to have brains too.”
“You seem to be the able to defy that rule,” He laughs and then holds his cup in the air as a wave, “I better get to work; this paper isn’t going to right itself.”
“Oh hey, is game night still on for this Friday?” I ask before he walks away.
“Yes, and it’s at your place this week, correct?”
“Yeah, I wanted to make sure nothing has changed.”
He shows me his pearly whites, “Things won’t change unless we change them ourselves.” He turns and walks over to a quiet corner table to work.
Were we talking about game night, or something completely different? He made it seem that there was something deeper in the words. I stand at the register for a moment, contemplating my friend’s words, when Becky walks up and startles me.
“Damn, he’s hot! Why are you not doing the dirty with him again?” Becky is practically drooling as she stares in Gabe’s direction.
“Well, for one, I’m not interested in dating anyone…”
“I’m not…”she cuts me off, but then I cut her off, because I know exactly what she’s going to say.
“I’m not doing a friend’s with benefits package with him, either! Have you forgotten my second reason already?” I lean my hip against the counter and cross my arms while I face her.
“I know, I know, you still have you V card. If you want my opinion, though, I would definitely be willing to give that stud, right there, my V card, if I had one to give.” She give grins and wiggles her brows at me.
I look over at my friend and take a moment to appreciate his good looks, “He would definitely be my second choice.” I don’t realize that I say it out loud until I hear Becky Gasp.
“Oh my God, you DO have someone!” She literally flaps her hands and bounces up and down in excitement, “Oh, girl, you better start talking!”
Sighing, I curse myself for not being careful, “There isn’t anything to tell,” Becky is another girl that I’ve gotten close to, and even though I trust her, I don’t know if I can let the whole Jace issue out of the bag; Reece doesn’t even know about him yet, “It’s just a guy that I grew up with. We used to be best friends when we were younger.” I walk over and pick up the rag to continue wiping the counters down.
“Oh no you don’t! You don’t get to drop a bomb like this and not tell me everything!” I’ve never seen Becky so worked-up before.
“I just don’t talk about him because it’s a sensitive subject.”
“Did the fucker turn you down? If that’s the case, then move on, babe.” Now she’s looking at me with sympathy.
I wave her off, “No, it’s the exact opposite. Hewantsa relationship, but I’m the one holding back.”
“I don’t understand,” Becky’s forehead creases, “If he’s your number one choice, then what’s keeping you from being with him?”
I rub my forehead, “There is a lot of things about my past that I keep to myself, and it all has to do with my decision to not jump into anything with him just yet.”
The only thing that I’ve told both Becky and Reece is about the attack. I figured that with court coming up, I would have to go back home at some point, and I didn’t want to lie to my new friends about why. The rest is for me to figure out on my own, and I know Jace deserves to have an answer, instead of just waiting around. He deserves to move on with someone who he can match his own needs.
Do I want him to move on? How would I feel if I were to see him with another girl? Oh my God, what if he already has? I haven’t contacted him in over a month! He left me alone, so I could make the decision on my own, and even though I still thought about him, I haven’t really, actually, thought aboutusfor a while, at least not as much as I should have been. I didn’t want to be hot and cold with him, and yet, I’ve left him hanging and waiting! I wouldn’t blame him if he gave up, but when I really think about it, I don’t want him to be with anyone else. Am I actually, making up my mind? I have to be certain, because once I say the words, there will be no going back. That is one thing that I know about Jace, he will hold me to my own words.
Just thinking about what Jace would do if I were to change my mind after saying ‘yes’ to him, has those familiar tingles starting to form. I can picture him using that sexy as hell voice to order me to kneel in front of him, or demanding that I bend over to receive my well-deserved punishment. The feel of his hand coming down on my bare butt, leaving a much-desired burn in its wake, has me heading straight for the restroom to clean myself. I haven’t felt this way in a while, and now that I’m once again thinking of the guy that was once my bully, everything comes flooding back.
I’m not sure how it will work out, with the distance, and my schooling, but I can’t deny myself any longer. I know what I want, and I know who it is that I want to give it to me, because it’s like he’s always said, he’s the only one that can give me what I want, and what I need. What I want is Jace Palmer. He is the only one that I want and trust to give myself to. Yes, I have trust in him again. It may not be as deep as it once was, but this is a different kind of trust. I’m going to gift him with my trust that he will give me and my body everything it needs, and in exchange, I will submit.
Turning the shower off, I grab my towel and begin drying myself. I’m just wrapping my hair in the towel when my phone begins to ring. Looking at the time, I see it’s almost nine at night. Wondering who would be calling me at this time, I hurry to my phone and see my dad’s name on the call ID. I just talked to my father this morning; did something happen? When my heart begins to race, thinking that something happened to my mom or one of my siblings, I swipe the screen to answer.
“Dad, is everything okay?” I ask frantically.
