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Once we’re inside of the car, I weep so hard I don’t remember how we arrive at the hospital. We go to the ER, and the nurse walks me to my mom’s room. I see my mother’s lifeless body stretch out on the bed, but she looks peaceful. Maybe she was ready to go, and I was holding on to her too tight.
“I’m so sorry, Boots.”
“I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to her.”
He places his hand on my head, pulling me closer to his hard chest. My father along with Nicole walks toward me.
“I’m sorry, baby girl,” he says to my mother before leaning down, planting a kiss to her forehead. Nicole’s cheeks redden, but she doesn’t comment. When our eyes meet, I shake my head. I don’t have anything to say to her. To be honest, I don’t know why she’s here. My father frowns at my hand joined with Atlas’s, and I immediately drop it.
“We need to speak about the funeral payments and arrangement,” my father tells me.
“Okay, I’ll text you in the morning.”
I say my goodbyes to my mother, and once I’m in the hallway, I cry into Atlas’s arms. My tears soak his shirt, then he carries me out of the building and places me into his car.
I climb into Atlas’s lap, and I rest my head on his chest. “Can you take me back to your place? I don’t want to be home by myself. Or you can spend the night, I don’t care.”
“We’ll go back to my place.”
We ride in silence, and once we’re inside his penthouse, I lie in his bed, placing the covers over my head, and he pulls me into his arms.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Atlas says.
I feel so safe in his arms, and I kiss his chin. “Thank you for being here with me.”
“No problem. You can have the week off and even though you haven’t built your PTO, you’ll still receive pay. I’ll take it out of my own pocket.”
“You really would do that for me?”
“Of course. You need time to grieve. I’ll have a temp fi—”
“Actually, no. I need something to do so I won’t be depressed.”
“If you don’t deal with your grief now, and hold it in, it’s going to eat you from the inside out. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
He’s right. Totally right.
We sit in the quietness until I drift off to sleep.
The next day is so horrible. I cry, sleep, and cry some more. Atlas goes to my place, grabs me a bag of clothes, and makes sure his chef fixes me a plate of food, but I didn’t touch it. The pain is too unbearable, and honestly, I feel guilty, I feel robbed, I feel ashamed, I feel… like I’m losing control of my life, and I don’t know how to handle it.
“You need to eat something, Lake, it’s been three days.” Atlas shoves a burger in my face. “You’re starting to lose weight, baby, and I’m concerned.”
Today is my mother’s funeral, and I’m not ready to say goodbye to her. Not yet. I woke up hoping it was a dream and she’s alive, that this is a cruel joke. I shouldn’t be surprised because people who were in her position don’t usually make it long. I thought I was prepared to let her go, but I wasn’t.
“Please, do it for me. One bite.”
I’m grateful for Atlas, and he’s trying his best, but I don’t want the burger. I’m also grateful he helped pay for my mother’s funeral.
“No, I’m not hungry,” I sigh, shoving the burger away from me.
He bites into my burger, and he places it in front of my mouth again.
I grind my teeth. “If I take a bite of the burger, will you leave me the hell alone?”
“You eat the whole thing, then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”
“Fine.” I snatch the burger from him and gobble it down. For those ten minutes, I don’t savor it like I would have before. Even though I didn’t want it, my body sure as hell did because the pain in my stomach seizes, and I’m sleepy.
