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“She must be devastated.”
“I’m sure she is.”He’d pay his respects tomorrow.
“I’m glad you told me.”
Logan gazed down at Ellie.She seemed sad at the news, but not upset.She was calmer than he expected.“Do you mind if we just sit here and hold you?”
“I’m fine with that.”
“Thank you.”He brushed a kiss over her temple and closed his eyes again.
* * * *
Ellie fought to keep her breathing normal.An officer had been killed, and Logan was there when it happened.Her heart hurt for the officer’s wife, and it cracked for Logan and for herself.She had to admit, she wanted want to jump out of his arms and run.
She couldn’t.
The devastation on Logan’s face as he told her what happened kept her in his arms.He needed comfort, and she’d give it to him, even if every instinct in her said run.She wanted to be with Logan.Hell, she loved him.
She stopped breathing for a moment.She loved Logan.But could that love withstand him dying on the job?She didn’t know, but she needed time to think.While she wanted to be with Logan, her fear of losing him was stronger.
It would be like losing her brother all over again, but a thousand times worse.She wasn’t sure she’d be able to withstand it.For right now, she’d lay quietly in his arms and let him recover.
As he held her, her mind kept going over everything he said.And each conclusion was worse than the one before.To protect herself, she needed to bow out of his life.This way he could solely focus on his job and not be distracted by her.
Her heart contracted, and she fought to breathe.It had to be done no matter how much it hurt.It was the only way to keep Logan safe.But she would never be the same.
* * * *
Logan walked into Ellie’s kitchen the next morning.He’d slipped on his pants, but that was it.They’d sat for several hours in the club last night.He’d followed Ellie home, but his heart was heavy and his mind as well.Ellie refused to let him leave.
She tugged him into her apartment, helped him undress, and put him in her bed.He slept with her in his arms all night.This morning, he was feeling better.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said, slipping his arms around her waist for a hug.
“Good morning.”She grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee.
Logan released her to take the mug, but something was off.Ellie wasn’t her normal bright self, and she barely reacted to his hug.“You okay?”
“Logan, I think…” Her voice trailed off.She cleared her throat.“I think we need some time apart.”
Why wasn’t he surprised by the request?Probably because he knew in his gut it was coming.It still hurt.He set the mug on the counter and turned her to face him.He could see her mind turning things over and over.
Heck, he couldn’t blame her.Yesterday’s events had shaken him as well.Maybe them being apart was a good idea, no matter how much it hurt.It would give her time to think things through.
“I understand.”He took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He shook his head.“Take all the time you need, Ellie.”He leaned down and brushed a kiss over her lips.“I’ll wait for you.”
She nodded.
Logan turned and walked into the bedroom, finished dressing, then quietly left.Ellie hadn’t moved from her position in the kitchen.He wanted to go to her and tell her everything would be okay, but that wasn’t a promise he could keep.
He unlocked his vehicle and climbed in.His heart cracked.It was better this way.They both needed time to sort out what had happened.While he’d rather they did it as a couple… He blew out a breath as he started his SUV.
It was going to be a couple of long weeks for the department, and they were all going to be on edge for a while.Maybe this was for the best.Time apart from Ellie would help him straighten out in his head what had happened as well as give her time.
