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“Because you’re looking for problems so you can feel like a big man. I bet you weep in the Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom when the cashier says she has a boyfriend.”
“Fuck you, Beaver,” he sneered. Someone must have told him my name between the fight yesterday and now. “Is your dad a pussy too?”
I rolled my eyes. Did he think I hadn’t heard that before? “Is your mom as disappointed in you as you are in yourself?”
His face went red with rage, and he yanked on my arm harder.
I stomped out of the library into the corridor. “When I get out of here, I’m taking your mom somewhere nice so she can feel pride for the first time in her life.”
“Shut your mouth!”
“That’s not what your dad says to me when I fuck him in your twin bed from high school.”
I was going to say more, but I heard Beverly scream again. I glanced over my shoulder to see her standing in the library door watching Dicky drag me away.
My heart dropped as I realized I had fucked up. Badly.
Who was going to protect Beverly when I was in the hole? Plenty of people seemed to like her, but plenty wanted to hurt her too. Would anyone else step up to look after her? Elliot might, but he was being locked up.
“It’s okay, Beverly,” I called. It was a lie. “It’s okay.”
Chapter 6
DickFingersshovedmeinto the solitary confinement cell and slammed the door. I pounded my fists on the metal and screamed—not at the shithead guard, though he deserved it—but at myself.
I had fucked up. I’d given Beverly wood to chew on, and now Elliot was going to be locked in the hole. I’d tried to avenge Oscar, and now Beverly was alone in a dangerous cage with no one to protect her.
Even locked in prison, I still somehow made things worse for everyone near me.
It was the story of my life. I had tried to save the world by taking magical artifacts out of the hands of randos. But really, I had been harming people while helping a maniac become more powerful. I’d tried to protect Juniper from Ram and stop his evil plans. While that was successful, I had broken a community of lonely, lost souls, and I’d hurt people who had been my friends for years. Some of them were still sending me angry letters and would probably try to kill me once I was out of prison.
I had tried to end my failures by turning my dark magic to light because maybe my parents and teachers had been right. Maybe using dark magic was why I kept hurting others.
But instead of changing my magic, I had ruined my best friend’s life in a way she’d never fully recover from. I had given the Eclipses a safe home, but now they might be dead because that bubble dimension was never as safe as I had promised. The moment the Astrosmos left it, everyone there was doomed.
“Fuck,” I screamed and punched the door, ignoring the pain it sent through my fist and up to my shoulder.
Beverly, that innocent little beaver, was now going to bear the brunt of my fuck-up. I should have thought ahead. I should have realized that getting into fights would harm her more than it would me.
But, of course, I hadn’t thought of it until it was too late.
“Hey, are you okay?” said a soft, worried voice.
I startled and whirled. The tiny cell was empty but for a cot, toilet, sink, and the book I had dropped when Dicky pushed me in. Oh great, now I was losing my mind after three minutes in the hole. Most people lasted at least a day before hearing voices.
“Go away, hallucination,” I said. “I don’t want you.”
“I’m a hallucination? I don’t think I’m a hallucination. I mean, if I am, I’m a really good one because I’m pretty sure I was here before you arrived. I have memories and everything. Anyway, sorry for bothering you. I’ll put the stone back in the wall.”
I frowned. Okay, maybe I wasn’t losing my mind. “Where are you?”
“In the wall,” he said in a spooky, ghost voice. “Not really. Sorry if that was scary. I’m in the next cell. Hi!”
I eyed the cinder brick wall until I spotted a narrow gap where there should have been mortar. Closing one eye, I pressed the other to the crack. A bright blue iris stared back.
“Hi!” he said again, his voice now bright and cheery. “I’m Moe. Want to talk? What are you in for? The hole, I mean, not prison in general, but you can answer that too if you want. Talk about anything! I’ll listen. I’m good at that.”
He was desperately lonely, I decided.
