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“How are things going? Seems like she’s doing better.” Clark stood, walking over to the counter, and leaning on it.
“She’s doing a lot better,” Derek answered, following after him with Piper babbling happily. “But she has decided that it is a lot more fun to throw her baby food instead of actually eating it. Lacy got hit directly in the eye by pea puree today.”
Clark laughed at the image, seeing Lacy in his mind’s eye with mushy, green paste splattered across his face. But then, the image in his head started to shift, and suddenly it wasn’t Lacy’s face he was seeing in his mind—but Valerie.
He could see it all. The way she would look as she smiled at a baby, one that looked a lot like her… and a lot like Clark.
Clark shook his head quickly, banishing the thought from his head and eliciting a curious look from his friend.
“I heard you stopped in to see Valerie at girls’ night the other night,” Derek said, raising an eyebrow and Clark wondered if his friend had been able to read his mind.
“I stopped in to give Shelley stuff for the showcase,” Clark corrected. “I actually didn’t know she was going to be there. But seeing Valerie was an added bonus.”
“Likely story.”
“And a true one,” Clark said with a chuckle.
“Did you hear that she’s going to be involved with the showcase?” Derek asked, prompting Clark to nod.
“She told me.”
“It’s good that she’s fitting in with everyone.” Derek looked down at his daughter, not meeting his friend’s eyes. “It’s going to be tough on the town when she leaves.”
Clark felt the words all the way in his stomach, the thought of her leaving making his nerves feel like they were being tied in knots.
“It is,” he admitted, and then launched into a brief explanation of what Valerie had told him. The offer for the new movie, the award nomination, it all spilled out about it.
Until Clark started talking about it, he hadn’t realized just how devastated he was going to be when Valerie headed back home to Los Angeles. And it felt good to get it off his chest.
The image of Valerie with the baby pervaded his mind again, and he tried to push it down. But this time it refused to leave. This was the first time in his life that Clark had been able to picture a future like that with anyone. And it was a shame that the first time it was happening was with the one person that it would likely never come to fruition with.
He told Derek as much, his heart pounding as he admitted that he could see a future with Valerie. Derek’s brown eyes went wide with surprise, and then softened into something like pity when the reality of what that meant hit him.
“I won’t stand in her way,” Clark said earnestly, still whole heartedly meaning everything he had said to Valerie about supporting her the other day. “When she goes back to her life, I’ll support her with everything I have. I’ll be happy for her, even if I’ll be sad for me.”
“That can’t be an easy situation,” Derek responded, shaking his head slightly at his friend’s turmoil. “And it’s really noble of you to support her. But have you talked to her honestly about how you feel yet?”
Clark shook his head. “No. I don’t want to put that burden on her. I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay for me.”
“But do you think that she can make an informed decision without all of the information?”
Derek was staring at him, his eyes slightly pinched at the corners with obvious concern for his friend. Clark’s heart gave a twinge of gratitude for the care that Derek was showing him.
“She deserves to know,” Derek continued, speaking softly. “And you deserve to know that if she does decide to go home, she made that decision knowing every possible option that there was. Neither of you deserve to always be wondering ‘what if.’”
Clark nodded, hearing the sense in what Derek was saying. But that didn’t stop how terrified the thought of confessing it all to Valerie made him feel. He knew there was a possibility that he might bare his heart to her, lay it all out and tell her how he felt, and then she’d take those feelings and his heart and leave.
“No risk,” Derek said pointedly, “no reward.”
Clark laughed, thinking about the slogan that they used to tell each other in high school before their football games. They’d always tell it to each other before they went against their coaches wishes, calling out a play that they knew was risky but that could end up winning them the game.
In his heart, Clark knew that Derek was right. There was no way he could deny it.
But now the question was—how would he find the courage to do it?
* * *
The rink was silent, not a soul in sight other than Shelley and Rudolph as they finished up cleaning everything down after the practice for the showcase. The question she’d posed to herself the other day had plagued her nonstop, and now the possibility of it all threatened to overwhelm her.
