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But I stand rigid. not able to find it in me to hug him back.
The drive home is silent. Not the comfortable silence that we might have enjoyed together, but tense electric silence that has me shifting in my seat. I keep my gaze turned away from Hudson, watching the scenery, forcing myself to stay quiet.
Arriving at home I step out of his car before he can open the door for me and start walking towards my own home.
He comes running behind me and grabs my arm, turning me to face him.
"Hudson," I warn.
"Gi, please. I am so sorry. When he grabbed you, those things he said about you, they were unforgivable."
"They might have been unforgivable but trust me he has done and said far worse things to me. And nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing is worth you landing up in jail over or risking losing your custody battle for your son!"
Hudson blinks in shock. Has he not even considered the impact this will have on the court case.
"I could not have just walked away and let him disrespect you like that!" He is upset. "I know it was a stupid thing to do okay. I know I made a mistake, but Gianna, if anyone ever hurts you---" his eyes darken.
"I am not worth losing your son for, Hudson. I am not worth it!"
He is taken aback by my comment.
I can't do this anymore. I need to sleep.
"Good night," I say and walk away, feeling broken down and heavy.
When I collapse into my bed tears are streaming down my face.
* * *
It is late morning when I wake to a knock on my door. I stood up and woke in a daze to see who it was. My body feels like lead, and my brain feels groggy from exhaustion.
Hudson is standing in my doorway holding two coffees and a brown bag that smells of bacon and fresh croissants.
"Please, can we have breakfast and just chat?" He asks and I am too tired to try denying him.
I gesture for him to come in and I go to the bathroom to splash water on my face and try and wake up properly. Looking in the mirror I sigh at the dark circles under my eyes.
When I come back into the living room Hudson has breakfast laid out on the coffee table. I flop down into the soft sofa with a sigh and reach for the coffee.
I am not sure I can stomach food or conversation but here I am.
"Gianna, I want to apologize. For my behavior. It was completely out of line, and you have every right to be angry with me. I need you to know I reacted out of love. I did not react appropriately, but my actions were out of love. For you."
He stares down at his coffee. Swirling the paper cup in his hand.
He looks depleted and tired.
I sigh again and lean over to rest my head on his shoulder. I do not have it in me to fight with him. I have said what I needed to say last night. He breathes a sigh of relief and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer. "I am really sorry, Baby Girl. Please believe me."
"I do. And I accept your apology. But it isn't really me you need to be sorry to. It's Taylor. I know he doesn't understand any of what is happening, but you need to realize that what happened last night affects him the most."
"Trust me I do."
"And just because I forgave you doesn't mean you aren't still in trouble OK. I am still angry. I just need time to process."
"I understand. Let's eat some breakfast and then go for a walk?"
"I'm actually too tired. I'm really worried, Hudson. I'm really scared we are making a mistake."
