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Abi nodded, understanding. “It’s not the same as having one of your own. I get it, Mariah. You don’t have to feel any guilt. I hope you know that.”
There was no judgment in her eyes, only sympathy and understanding. It was a relief to talk about it, to admit my fears and doubts. This was one of the many reasons I was growing so fond of Abi. She was more than just a guide through the shifter world, more than a figure of strength for the family. She was a friend. An older female I could count on—something I’d never known before.
“You don’t have to figure it all out right now,” she said gently. “Give it time, Mariah. And remember, no matter what, you have us. You have me. We’re family.”
Her words brought me comfort. I didn’t have all the answers yet, but she was right—I had time, and more importantly, I had a family who cared. I found my gaze wandering back to Sofia, who was now quietly playing with that stuffed dragon. My heart swelled with affection for the little girl who’d wormed her way so deeply into my affections. She wasn’t mine biologically, but the bond I felt for her was as deep and powerful as if she were.
The sentiment Abi expressed for Evan was precisely how I felt about Sofia. And yet…
A tiny frown creased my forehead. Was I truly okay with never experiencing pregnancy? The morning sickness, the baby kicks, the labor pains, the first cry… all those moments I'd never get to experience firsthand. They were simple, everyday miracles that most women took for granted, but for me, they were ones I may never know.
Then there was Evan. How would he feel if I wanted to have a child, anyway? One that wasn't biologically his? We hadn't even begun to discuss such things, but now that the seed was planted, I couldn't shake it off. Would he be okay with a donor? Would he love a child not of his blood as much as he loved Sofia? It was a conversation we’d have to have at some point.
A knot of anxiety balled up in my stomach. These issues were complex, and the implications so far-reaching, I didn't want to think about them, or not yet, anyway. We had so many other things to take care of.
I needed to focus on the immediate future. I had school to keep me busy, and Evan and Sebastian would be occupied with working on taking Tomas down. Those were the important issues.
But despite my best efforts, the questions lingered long after I left Abi and took Sofia upstairs for her nap. I loved Evan with all my heart, but we had some big conversations ahead of us. I just had to trust our love was strong enough to see us through it all.
Chapter 7
Evan
Sitting across from Sebastian in his office felt so familiar, watching him in action, learning what it meant to be an alpha. The room was filled with the warm aroma of hazelnut coffee, bringing back memories from my teen years. The steady ticking of the grandfather clock punctuated the silence, an ever-present backdrop to our discussions.
Despite the seventeen years that passed since I left these lands, it felt just as comfortable to be here now as it was back then. It felt…right. For someone who’d spent much of his adulthood feeling alone, the sense of belonging here was unexpected, and meant more than I could say.
Sebastian bent over his mahogany desk, engrossed in the notes he’d taken once I’d given him a thorough rundown of our trip to Miami. I’d only told him Mariah had confronted Rosalind. When he’d heard the full extent of what she managed to learn, he was even more impressed.
“There’s still one thing I don’t understand.” Sebastian glanced up. "Jax.”
My jaw clenched at the sound of his name. “What about him?”
Sebastian shook his head. “He’s Rosalind’s brother. He must know about this Porter character. Why didn’t he say anything before sending you to Florida?"
I leaned forward, bracing my arms on the desk as I met his stare. His question echoed the very suspicions I’d been wrestling with since we boarded the jet for home. If Jax knew what it would take to get Rosalind to drop the custody case, why didn't he just lay it all out for us from the start?
Not for the first time, I questioned if this was an elaborate setup, but why? What did Jax stand to gain from helping us, other than sticking it to his dad? Maybe that was enough for him, but I just didn’t like the guy.
"I've been thinking the same thing," I said. "What's his play here? I don’t know if I trust his motivations.”
Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” I waved my hand, brushing him off. I didn’t want to get into how I felt irrationally jealous when it came to Jax and his familiarity with my mate, how the need to claim Mariah was growing stronger every day. “I just want to make sure we aren’t walking into a trap. Hawthorne loves his games.”
He cocked his head, but before he could say anything else, a chime came from Sebastian’s computer. He turned to face the screen. “It’s Porter Holly’s profile.”
Sebastian had used his own resources to check out the man Rosalind claimed was her boyfriend, and they’d come back fast. Sebastian angled his monitor so I could see better, and together we read through the file.
Rosalind’s story checked out. Porter was a dragon shifter, working at one of Tomas’s string of casinos in Atlantic City—the largest one, it seemed—which meant it was a veritable gold mine. The file didn’t list what Porter did for the casino, but I had no doubt whatever it was, Tomas filled his pockets.
“Look at this.” Sebastian leaned closer to the screen, clicking rapidly through a labyrinth of folders and documents. He clicked on a folder marked Personnel, then let out a low chuckle when several documents labeled Porter Holly Resignation Letter appeared. “This guy’s resigned from the casino, and not just once, but on numerous occasions. Yet every time, his resignation is shot down."
I quickly scanned the documents. “Why do you think he’s leaving?"
“No way to know for sure, but I can guess why he’s getting denied.” Sebastian rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “He knows too much. There’s no doubt Hawthorne is involved in illegal dealings. If Porter is high enough to get close to Tomas’s inner circles, which he has to be if he’s dating his daughter, then I’d bet Porter is right in the thick of it, meaning Tomas has him in a vise."
If Porter was embroiled in Tomas’s illegal operations, the situation would be far more convoluted than we'd originally thought. Where did this leave us in the deal we were offering Rosalind? Moreover, where did Jax fit in? Was he truly on our side, or a calculating puppet master, pulling strings from behind the scenes?
