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“Shhhh. Let’s think positive thoughts. And let’s get you back in bed. Nature is on the way to help me in the kitchen. We’ll make enough food to get you through the next few days and be right here by your side until you’re ready for us to leave, okay?”
“You don’t have to, really. You have a family.”
“And you’re part of it, so what do you mean? What are you saying right now, babe?”
“That a few hours is fine, but I won’t let either of you stay too long.”
“Fine. Whatever works for you. Now, come on. To the bed.”
Sighing, I made my way to the bedroom where the smell of Makai lingered, making me sick to my stomach. I paused, mid-way, turned toward Aeir, and shook my head. There was absolutely no way I could rest there.
“I can’t. Not in here.”
He’d been home less over the last week or so, but his scent had penetrated the walls, the sheets, the pillowcases, and everything else he’d ever touched.
“I can’t.”
“It’s okay. A guest room?”
Nodding, I approved the newest idea. That was more suitable. Missing Makai was enough. To have his absence rubbed across my nose every second of my day was too much.
In the first guest room, I lowered my body onto the bed. I struggled to get my legs up. The pain was mind-numbing, but with help, I managed to get it done.
The shower I’d taken prior to leaving the hospital was the best idea I’d had in days because I was in no shape to do so without support. My shower had none. The walls were bare, aside from a rack for soaps, body washes, razors, and other shower supplies. With any luck, when it was time to shower again, tomorrow, I would feel a bit better and my pain wouldn’t be as disabling.
“How is that?”
“This is good.”
“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Don’t yell. That’ll only cause unnecessary pain. Just shoot me a text.”
Aeir sauntered out of the room after flipping the light switch. And the moment she did, my loneliness depleted me. I laid my head against the back of my hand as it sat on the pillow underneath me. Makai’s dark skin and perfect teeth haunted my lids the second I sealed them.
A tear fell from the corner of my eyes. Proof that my tear ducts still had life and I hadn’t damaged them with the emotional depths I’d reached over the last few days stained my pillow.
Don’t cry, Mommas. His voice played in my head, making it more difficult to contain myself.
“Come back to me,” I whispered, burying my face in the pillow.
The pain cut so deep that I felt it splitting me in half. My back rose and fell as silent tears soaked the linen that wrapped the rectangular fluff.
“Come back, baby.”
“Glacier,” Nature’s voice appeared.
“Yes?” I cracked.
“Awww, baby,” she sighed, rushing into the room.
She climbed into bed beside me. Her cold hands and feet slid underneath the covers for warmth. Her arms wrapped around me as she carefully pulled me into her arms. I could hear her heart drumming against her chest.
“Would you like to talk about it?” she asked, giving me space to do as I pleased.
“No,” I admitted.
“Okay. Okay. Then we won’t talk.”
She rubbed my back, up and down, bringing me as much comfort as I had the capacity for. Her touch was soothing. It nursed the storm happening inside of me. And eventually, it led me to a peaceful place where sleep was possible.
