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“What are you doing, Makai? We’re in the middle of the road.”
“I have two eyes, Kiwi. I know exactly where we are. It doesn’t matter. Wherever we are and Mommas is feeling blue, that’s where the fuck we’ll be until she’s warm again.”
His explanation left me with a sagging posture and galloping heart. Desperate for his touch, I reached out to him, needing his comfort. He pulled me closer, not stopping until my body was pressed against his.
On his lap, I sat, arms wrapped around his neck and chest against his face. Gently, he gnawed on my nipple through the shirt he’d let me borrow. Underneath, I was bare-chested, free of a bra.
“Ouch.” The pain didn’t exist. There was only pleasure.
“Tell me what’s the matter, Mommas. The real thing, and not some made-up shit in your head. And give me a kiss before you let that shit fly.”
I kissed Makai’s lips as I’d been told. When my neck was upright again, the sadness continued.
“I’ll sit here all fucking day, Glacier. I don’t give a fuck.”
“I miss you.”
Shaking his head from one side to the other, he ran his hand through his beard.
“I haven’t gone anywhere yet.”
“I know, but I can feel your absence already. I can feel the effect of the separation already. Now that we’re both home, I don’t want to have to fight for your attention or for you to go back to thinking the way you were prior to any of this. I’m just feeling so… I don’t know. I’m not feeling very secure. As much as I hate to sound so needy, I am. The truth is, I need you to validate the feelings we both share and promise me they won’t change now that we’re back to reality.”
Honking horns passed us by, but I’d lost every caring bone in my body that didn’t directly relate to the feelings I shared with Makai. He placed a hand on both sides of my face and focused on my glossy orbs. My emotions rested in my eyes, threatening to spill.
The days I’d spent with Makai felt like months. The progress we made in such a short time left me breathless and in excruciating pain at the thought of it all being for nothing.
“What if you decide that you don’t actually want a partnership again? What if—”
“Shhhhhh. You’re getting yourself upset for nothing, G. Shit is solid. I’m locked in. We’re locked in. Ain’t shit changing between us. I’ll admit that I have a shitload of work waiting on me. I have a bunch of business to take care of, so I might go missing for a day or two, but by the third day, I’m right back in your face, right back in your world. Three shifts at best and I’m back, Mommas. I promise.”
“Yeah?” I asked, needing confirmation.
“Yeah. And don’t ever hesitate to tell me how you really feel, aight?”
“Okay.”
“Communication is what will make this shit work. You’re not a fool for feeling how you feel or needing to make sure you’re not alone with those feelings. We all seek validation in some area of our lives. Most motherfuckers just won’t admit it. You telling me the shit you have going on in your head is validating me, letting me know that this shit is as real as I think it is… as real as I want to it be… as real as I need it to be.”
“Okay.”
“How can I make it better, Mommas? How can I make this feel better?” he asked, touching my chest.
“Can you stay with me? Until it’s time for me to leave for work? I’m not ready for you to go.”
“I can do that.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do for my big, big baby.”
“I’m not a baby.” I tittered, sliding back into my seat. “Can we go now? I’m sure someone has called the police.”
“Fuck them and the police.”
Bowing out of a fight that I knew I wouldn’t win was the best option for me. I sealed my lips and fixed my gaze out of the window as the music began to play and the vehicle began to me. Movement was good. We’d been sitting still for far too long.
I felt Makai’s hand on my thigh, searching for a part of me that had gotten accustomed to his touch. When he discovered my hand, which was childlike in comparison to his, he filled the spaces I created with his fingers. Hand in hand, we continued toward my place where my intentions were to give him a few reasons to think of me while he was away handling business.
