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Now, she’s wearing black yoga pants and one of my T-shirts. Her hair’s pulled up in a messy ponytail, and she doesn’t have any makeup on. She’s damn sexy as hell—even more so because she’s in my old San Jose Sharks T-shirt. But this isn’t the woman I’m falling in love with.
This is a shell.
I lean down and kiss her cheek. “Any big plans today?”
She startles. The tension in her body doesn’t lessen when she realizes it’s just me. It slopes her shoulders another fraction of an inch.
She shakes her head, and her gaze shifts to the window. “Are you working in that?” She nods at the rain.
“No, Troy has some jobs on the interior that need to be completed.” Thank Christ for that. As a PT, I never had to worry about the weather. I could just focus on helping my patients recover, get stronger. Shit. I miss my old job.
“That’s good.” Her voice lacks all hint of emotion, and she goes back to chewing her cereal as if it were Styrofoam.
I grab a bowl from the cupboard and sit next to her. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
She’s anything but fine. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why.
We’re approaching the anniversary of Aiden’s death.
The guilt over what happened always cranks up for me at this time of year. That’s bad enough. I can’t imagine what Simone is going through.
When I was ten years old, I discovered an injured bird in a neighbor’s garden. I had no idea how to help it, but that didn’t stop me from digging up worms for it. I’d felt helpless trying to get the bird to eat them. Telling it the worms would make the bird big and strong.
How I felt then is nothing compared to now with Simone.
“Has Kim ever been depressed?” I ask Jerome.
He and I are sitting on Barside Brewery’s patio. The crappy weather from this morning ended around noon, and the puddles left in its wake are drying up in the heat of the sun.
I called him earlier at the law firm he works for, hoping he can help me. Of all my friends, he’s the only married man of the bunch. What I need is advice from someone who knows what the hell he’s talking about.
I also trust that he won’t share our conversation with anyone—including his wife.
“Are you talking clinical depression?”
“I don’t know. Simone’s been emotionally pulling away from me for the past week. The anniversary of Aiden’s death is next month, so it’s probably related to that.”
His lips roll into a contemplative line. “Kim has her emotional ups and downs—maybe even more so now that she’s pregnant—but I don’t think she’s ever struggled with depression.”
“Any ideas what I can do?” I ask, sounding a bit too hopeful that he has the Holy Grail of answers for me.
“I’m not an expert on the topic, but the best thing you can do is be there for Simone. If things get worse, maybe contact her physician and see what he suggests. Does she usually struggle with the anniversary?”
Hell if I know. I don’t know Simone as well as I once did. As well as I should considering everyone believes we’ve been secretly a couple, on and off, for over a decade.
I sip my beer, deciding how many of my cards to lay out. Around us, the patio is busy with after-work patrons.
I lean forward in my chair, ensuring no one overhears what I’m about to reveal to Jerome. “I have no idea. Before Simone showed up in Maple Ridge three months ago, I hadn’t seen her in more than ten years. Some of what we told everyone is true. We were involved in college, but it wasn’t quite the romantic affair we made it out to be. The romance is there now.” I think I love her—even though I sense she’s keeping something from me like I’m keeping things from her.
Jerome’s dark eyebrows rise. I couldn’t have shocked him more than if I told him Simone was a deadly sniper. “So you really have no clue if her current emotional state is typical for her at this time of year?”
“Exactly. I still struggle with the anniversary of Aiden’s death, and she misses him more than she admits to her friends.”
Jerome considers my words for a moment. “Talk to her. Let her know you’re there for her. I’ve seen what the anniversary of his death does to you, Lucas. You shut yourself away from the world for a few days. But this time neither of you has to face it alone. You have each other.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
