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My skin seemed to have shrunk until it was too tight, until a brush of anything against it made me shiver in want. While I’d managed sleep, I’d wake up drench in sweat and not because of nightmares.
Instead, it was because of filthy dreams, and the worst part? Because of my inexperience, it wasn’t like I could come up with any amazingly detailed scenarios. Plus, it was never enough, and when I woke, my shame got the better of me and I’d just roll over to try to sleep as I ignored the aching between my legs.
I stretched out on the porch outside, wearing a pair of shorts and a bralette, letting the sun soak into me as though it could sear away the desire inside me.
It never did, but I could pretend, right?
“Call me if that changes.” Hayden’s voice had me looking to my left to find him coming around the corner, his phone to his ear. He had the tone he used when talking about work.
However, the moment I saw him, I knew that not even bathing in lava would take care of the lust inside me. He wore no shirt and had a sheen of sweat over his tan skin.
He wasn’t as young as the rest of them, but it was hard to remember when I saw him like this. His body was the sort they put pictures of in pin-up calendars, and I could see him fitting perfectly in a summer month, maybe dressed up as a firefighter with no shirt. His chest was broad and his dark nipples drew my gaze. The dark hair that ran in a small line from just beneath his navel to the button of his low-slung jeans stole my breath and what few coherent thoughts I had left.
I pictured myself on my knees in front of him, peering up that perfect body of his to find his dark eyes locked on me. He’d praise me, reassure me, tell me how good I was doing. I knew I’d be able to let go of all those worries inside of me because he’d take care of me.
“You look amazing.”His words made me smile, the lust in them. Some part of me knew they weren’t real, that he wouldn’t say that, but I wanted to hear it so badly, I let myself pretend.
“Kenz?” His real voice shook away the fantasy, especially when it seemed more annoyed than pleased.
“What?” I asked, sitting up and placing my hands behind me, to rest my weight on.
“I said that you shouldn’t just lay out dressed like that.”
“Like what?” I peered down at me, my brows furrowed. My shorts weren’tthatshort, and the bralette didn’t show much cleavage and reached a good inch below my bustline. “It’s not like I’m walking around in a thong.”
He went into a coughing fit, hitting his hand against his chest. Had he just choked on his own saliva because of my comment?
Times like this made me laugh, remembering that despite the age difference, he could be just that awkward around me.And he calls me innocent.
“Don’t talk like that!” he said once he caught his breath.
“Like what? I said thong, not dildo.”
He sighed and sat beside me, the action always making me smile. He looked funny seated on the ground, and he always groaned when forced to get up and off the floor, complaining about being too old for that. “You should be a lot more careful.”
“I think I’ve been pretty careful,” I argued. “I never go anywhere without you all, I’m always watching for people stalking me, I never call anyone I don’t need to.”
“I don’t mean like that.” He cast me a side-eye, but a flush to his cheeks suggested he was trying to not look at me. “Youdorealize you’re a girl, right?”
I patted down my body, then widened my eyes when I reached my chest. “Isthatwhy I have these?”
“Very funny,” he deadpanned. “You’re a young girl living with four adult men. You should be more aware of your surroundings.”
I waved him off. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to dress how I want and I’m not going to worry about what anyone else thinks about it. It’s notmyjob to dress foryourcomfort.”
Hayden huffed softly. “You’re too trusting. It terrifies me that when I’m not around to keep an eye on you, you’ll end up hurt. I mean, you seem to completely forget you’re living with men, that you’re so vulnerable. You fall asleep wherever you want, you leave yourself so exposed to danger, you sunbathe in next to nothing, and through it all, it doesn’t evenoccurto you that anything bad might happen.”
“Yeah, well, I might be worried if it wasn’t for the fact thatnoneof you are interested in me. Let’s be real—I could sunbathe naked out here and I’d just get a lecture about how that isn’t ladylike.” I closed my eyes as I pictured that exact thing, smirking at the way they’d try to explain to me my mistake.
“That’s because we want what’s best for you, but you shouldn’t push it. Men do have a point where their self-control snaps, Kenz. We have a place where our instincts overwhelm our good sense.”
That heat inside me grew again as I wondered how Hayden would look if he got to that point, if I pushed him over that line. Would he be rough? Would he hold me still, his aggressive lips against mine, his seeking hands stripping me down? I wouldn’t fight him, of course. Nope, I’d welcome it, begging him to keep going, but I had to admit, the thought of such a clear-headed man not thinking straight drew me in.
Or maybe it was better to say that I liked the idea of him losing his control because ofme.
My cheeks felt warmer than before, and it wasn’t because of the sun at all. It was the fantasy in my mind. When I opened my eyes again, however, it didn’t help.
Instead, I found Hayden there, somehow looking even better than before. His bare skin, his dark eyes, his body close enough I could so easily reach out and touch him. My fingers itched, moving as though to grasp him already. My hand shifted, just a bit, miles ahead of my brain.
