Page 78 of Buying Time


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I shook my head, then lifted my head to look at him. My voice wasn’t as strong as I would have liked it to be. It shook, fear causing it to rise and fall as I spoke, but I still forced myself to do it. “Everyone thinks Lorien is untouchable, they assume he’ll win, but they don’t know anything. They don’t know how strong Hayden is, how crafty Char is, how determined Vance can be or how vicious Tor is. If I have to bet on anyone, it won’t be on Lorien.”

Bradley sat back in his seat, his expression still givingnothingaway. “You have a lot of faith in them. This isn’t the first time I have dealt with a person sold in one of my auctions, despite my best efforts to prevent it, but it is the first time I’ve seen someone so quickly taken in by herowners.”The use of the words owners made my chest tighten.

Sure, Iknewthat they’d bought me, that they’d traded a lot of cash to buy me, but they’d never treated me like property.

Have they?

Bradley continued to speak, though the sharpness in his eyes said he’d caught my reaction. I had a feeling he missed very little. “Don’t get me wrong, many do submit eventually. I think that is human nature, to make the best of the situation we find ourselves in. In my experience, people can adjust and even find enjoyment in nearly any circumstance if they are forced to. Still, your ability to acclimate so quickly… It makes me wonder if that is simply a part of your personality.”

“What do you mean?”

“Some people fight everything. They dig their heels in and refuse to move no matter the risk or the damage. Those people do not adjust so easily. Others, however, are weaker. They prefer the path of least resistance. Those are the ones who meld into whatever happens, who give in quickly. Is that the type you are?”

I wanted to say no. I thought about Nem, about my mother, about the Quad, about Jarrod. I’d been around so many strong people who were that first time he’d spoken about. If they’d ended up where I was, they’d have fought no matter how useless it seemed, willing to die if it meant getting what they wanted.

I didn’t feel as though I fit in with them, like I’d been the one dropped into a family that wasn’t my own. No matter how much I wanted to deny his claim…he was right.

The fact that the men were good to me didn’t change that I’d given in, that Ialwaysgave in to everyone. Whether they were good to me or not, whether I wanted to or not, I never held my ground.

I complained, I pushed back a little, but when it came down to it, I did as I was told.

If Lorien had bought me and not the men, would I be in the same position? Would I think I’d fallen for him? Would I have simply accepted whatever he said so I could survive, no matter what?

I closed my hands into fists because the only answer I had was one I didn’t like.

“Maybe I am,” I admitted. “Maybe I am weak, and maybe I don’t stand up for myself, and maybe I do just do whatever others want.”

“Aren’t you sick of that? Doesn’t it grow wearing eventually?”

“Some people are strong and some aren’t. Wishing it was different doesn’t change anything.”

He nodded, as though accepting my statement. “You might be right, or perhaps the problem is a matter of definitions.”

“What does that mean?”

“What is a common symbol of strength in the world? The lion, right? We picture the male with his long mane. However, I have seen so many times when the females of the pride run the male off. It proves that what we see as strength isn’t always what ends up succeeding.”

I frowned, trying to figure out his point. The words felt strange from him, not fitting the rest of what I knew about him.

Before I could make sense of his meaning, he rose. “I want you to take away one important point. When I warned you that this would end with bloodshed, I didn’t intended to imply that Lorien would win. There is a good chance he would lose, but winning and losing are not the only things to consider. Lorien may well lose, but he will not do so easily, not without inflicting his own damage. The question you must ask yourself is how much are you willing to lose? How far will you allow this to go before you decide that the risk is too great?”

He took a card from his pocket and held it out to me, waiting until I gained the courage to take it. It was a business card with a phone number and no name on the white thick cardstock. “If you grow tired of this, please, contact me.”

“You’ll help me?”

“In a fashion. I am willing to do what it takes to reduce the bloodshed and problems, but that does not mean the help will be to your liking. One thing I’ve learned in such situations is that no one ends up getting quite what they want. Sometimes the best we can do is hope to reduce the damage and live with the results.”

And no matter how depressing that thought was…I’d lived a life that had taught me the truth of it.

I might have wanted some happy ending, might have been naïve enough to even dream about it, but life had taught me no one got what they really wanted. The business card I tucked into my pocket was a physical reminder of that very lesson and a warning against hoping for too much.

Chapter Fifteen

Kenz

I took a deep breath as I stretched out in the grass, wetness soaking into the back of my shirt.

“You should put down a blanket,” Hayden said, his shadow falling over me and blocking out the warm sun. “You’ll get all wet.”

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